


Expectations

by Pip



Category: GreedFall (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, De Sardet can’t flirt, Disaster Boys, Eventual Smut, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, Noble obligations and, Panic Attacks, Porn with Feelings, Vasco sort of can? Then we all catch the feels, a lot of feelings, idiots being anxious, poetry and sea shanties ahoy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:47:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 28,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22933558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pip/pseuds/Pip
Summary: Alexis De Sardet proves himself to exceed every assumption Vasco holds about the shortcomings of most nobles. The Naut Captain doesn’t expect to end up land-bound with the Congregation Legate. He doesn’t expect to linger over said Legate far more than he would normally such a pretty face.De Sardet expected to spend the rest of his life managing petty noble politics and quiet acceptance that he’d never have more in the way of romance than discreet trysts and sordid judgements.There is so much they did not expect.
Relationships: De Sardet/Vasco (GreedFall)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 53





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve taken a bit of liberty with some game mechanics and plot structure for the sake of narrative and realism, but generally am keeping to canon.  
> CW: mentions of homophobia/queerphobia, alcohol consumption and some slight mention of negative past sexual experiences on both their parts.

De Sardet was a strange sort, to be sure. Vasco had never met a noble half so polite without them managing to reveal their hand as to their self-interest. De Sardet was either exceedingly good at concealing it, or else genuinely didn’t seem to have an agenda at all when it came to being a decent person to the ‘lower classes’. Maybe Vasco’s expectations of nobles were just low enough to be easily exceeded. Still, the young Legate was… surprising.

And of course, he was prettier than he’d any right to be. Not that Vasco was particularly easily distracted by a handsome face… or a taut frame and lithe grace and frankly obscenely fine arse-

Alright, so the Legate was attractive, that much was true. But for three months at sea Vasco could comfortably ignore that. Had they met during shore leave in some dingy tavern then Vasco might have indulged to try his luck. Might have bought the pretty young man a drink and taken him to bed and let him leave quietly come daybreak, disappearing back into his velvet-trimmed existence like so many adventurous upper class fools before him. But Captain Vasco was a professional, as far as that went for Nauts- and that meant he may be quietly disdainful to noble poncery but he was loyal to his guild, he was effective and dutiful when it came to any assignment, and he respected the job. So when that meant transporting Princes and their entourage and copious belongings to new lands he could easily do so while ignoring how damned fuckable said Prince’s cousin’s pretty mouth looked.

Some time around month two Vasco decided he hadn’t had a decent lay in too long and resolved to deal with that vague itch before he left port again at New Serene, though he hardly devoted much conviction to the thought. He wasn’t some distasteful block of sexual aggression who desperately needed to get his end away before sailing off for the next port. He’d met Nauts like that, of course. Even had one or two ply him with cheap drinks and coax him back to their sad bunk on the docks. He’d not been nearly so young or desperate in a long time, nor would they dare pull such moves on a ranking crewman, let alone a respected captain.

Of course all that was quite moot when Cabral ordered him ashore… there to remain for the foreseeable future it seemed. As surprisingly tolerable for a noble De Sardet was, it hardly lessened the sting of being condemned to dry land with no real justification. Challenging the admiral would only make matters worse. And Vasco reminded himself regularly that De Sardet was far from responsible and did not deserve his misdirected ire. So the Naut captain reluctantly followed the Congregation Legate across the island to cosy up to the other Governors of the colonist nations in the hopes of leads on curing the Malichor.

* * *

De Sardet only continued to soar over Vasco’s low expectations of such blue blood. Surprisingly soon, the Naut caught himself almost forgetting the Legate’s nobility when they talked softly having taken watch at their latest wilderness camp, or following his lithe form through city streets or forest paths… never entirely though.

One night, an evening’s travel outside of San Matheus, having made camp a little way from the road when night fell, De Sardet offered to take the first watch. Vasco joined him, thinking Siora in more need of rest than he after the trial of keeping her composure in a city of zealots keen to call her a ‘heretical savage’. They sat for a time in the calm un-silence of rustling trees and occasional noises of nocturnal wildlife. De Sardet tried to pull his coat closer about him without being obvious about it, but Vasco was only a foot or so away and his eyes were sharp enough to catch the other man’s shiver.

“Cold, your excellency?” He asked, an edge of amusement colouring his voice as he noticed De Sardet’s expression fall at being caught so.

“A little, but I’m sure I’ll -”

Before De Sardet could finish the thought, Vasco was handing him the flask he had pulled from his inner coat pocket. De Sardet took it, confused. Vasco chuckled as the Legate opened it and sniffed suspiciously at the contents.

“Spiced rum,” Vasco plucked the flask from De Sardet’s hand and took a hearty swig before holding it back out again. “Few swigs throughout the night will keep the frost from your bones during a watch.”

De Sardet took the flask and swallowed a small mouthful. The rum burned on the way down but it carried a pleasant taste of cloves, cinnamon and other sweetnesses and warmed him, even as he grimaced a little at the strength. Vasco saw that, too, and did not hide his smirk.

“Thank you, Captain,” De Sardet’s voice came out a little hoarser than he’d have liked as he handed back the flask.

Vasco kicked back another swig before securing the lid and returning the flask to his pocket with a chuckle, “well, if it can get one through high winds at sea it should be more than enough for these woods. Assuming your skin’s not _too_ thin, Excellency?”

Vasco knew he was taking liberties with the teasing barbs, but he’d seen enough to know De Sardet wouldn’t challenge it. He was maybe even a little curious how far he could push his luck with De Sardet’s noble sensibilities… for his part, the Legate smiled in response, his eyes catching the glow of the firelight.

“No need for such formality, Captain,” De Sardet said warmly. “‘De Sardet’ is more than adequate… just Alexis, even, to friends.”

Vasco was caught off guard by the sincere tone for a moment. He replied playfully, however,

“And it’s ‘ _Vasco’_ to mine. I assume your memory’s not so spotty to have lost my name in the months since we met?”

De Sardet stumbled on the jibe. Was that a flush? Vasco couldn’t be sure, but the momentary flustering of the young noble was altogether too charming.

“No, of course.” He replied quickly. “Vasco. Of course-”

“We’re settled and acquainted then, aren’t we _Alexis_?”

The light of the campfire was just dim enough that the flush De Sardet felt colour his cheeks at the sound of his given name in that warm, amused, lilting baritone stayed as ambiguous as the one a moment before. Alexis thanked the stars. The handsome Naut already had his frayed nerves sparking up unbidden, he didn’t need further chance to embarrass himself.

“Why take a thankless watch so quickly?” Vasco asked, breaking off De Sardet’s musing. “Doesn’t your position entitle you to avoid such menial tasks?”

“Siora deserves a decent rest. Gods know she’s not had such while in the city and I’m responsible for dragging her along there at all.” Alexis replied.

“That goes for one. There are three more of us underlings here, Alexis.” Vasco’s tone was teasing but there was a slight bite to the implied authority, even if it was clothed in humour and velvet.

“Well, for one thing, Kurt would offer if given half the chance despite being dead on his feet from taking the brunt of those opportunistic highwaymen beyond the last outpost. And Petrus is old enough to be my father which earns him an earlier bed I think.” Alexis smiled to himself. “Besides which, you’re none of you servants or hirelings and from where I sit I should pull my weight.”

“Perhaps not all of us, but what else are myself and Kurt?” Vasco prodded.

“I stopped seeing Kurt as any kind of ‘hired-arm’ when I was still practically a child. He’d never tell a soul, but I doubt he’s seen myself and Constantin as merely a steady pay for even longer.” Alexis laughed lightly. “And as for you? The Congregation paid the Nauts for passage to the island and no more. If the Admiral chooses to make your stipend dependent on following me around from time to time that’s no business of mine.”

Alexis cursed himself for such a careless comment when he saw the flicker of bitterness cross Vasco’s eyes. He was a diplomat for shit’s sake! Half a mouthful of rum and a handsome face should not dull his skills so much. He’d like to say it hadn’t before… but the alcohol in Serene ballrooms was never so strong and more importantly no nobleman had anything on Captain Vasco’s sharp cheekbones, striking tattoos or eyes golden in the firelight-

“Hmm,” Vasco hummed with a smile that sent Alexis’ concern scattering. “Glad you’re not above boring yourself stiff on watch with the rest of us, Excellen- _Alexis._ ”

Alexis had opened his mouth to correct the title but was silenced by the roll of his name off the Naut’s lips.

 _Gods, get some fucking sense back in your head De Sardet!_ He scolded himself.

“Though there’s much worse company I could ask for of a cold night,” Vasco shot a sidelong look at Alexis that carried little enough heat to be dismissible, setting the noble’s heart stuttering.

No. There was no way the Naut was doing anything more than mocking him, surely? Alexis refused to read between lines when the other party might not even have penned a word. He’d been painfully wrong and more painfully disappointed before.

“I- uhh…” De Sardet coughed awkwardly to clear the strange catch from his throat. “Well, you’ve my thanks for joining me, Capt- _Vasco_.”

Before Vasco could say anything much by way of response, Alexis stood to make a slow lap of the camp, lingering as he surveyed the forest around them, eyes carefully searching for threat that was not there. The snort of Kurt’s snore from across the camp set the Naut smirking to himself again.

He caught the soft concern on Alexis’ face as his watchful eyes scanned over the sleeping form of Siora by the fire. She’d insisted she was more than comfortable without the covering of _renaigse_ canvas and left the tents to the rest of them. She seemed peaceful; deceptively comfortable bedroll settled on the turf and body curled against the very earth of her native home… more peaceful, indeed, than De Sardet had seen her since their meeting. Certainly since they had secured the return of her mother’s body to her clan. Alexis’ expression, unguarded here in the safety of night and the camp’s protection, was coloured now by pity and gentle worry.

Across the camp, Vasco watched the Legate’s face shift and eyes linger of the young woman by the fire. Shaking off the swell of sudden bitterness from his gut, the Naut took a none-too-modest swig from his flask. The rum warmed him in the place of the distasteful stab of unbidden jealousy that seized him a moment. He swallowed the spirit and pang altogether and tried to push the strange thoughts aside.

 _Get a-bloody-hold of yourself, idiot! He’s just some noble dainty._ Vasco scolded himself as he pulled his gaze from the pretty young Legate and tried not to think about just how lovely he’d looked when caught off guard by Vasco’s only slightly flirtatious teasing.

* * *

If De Sardet was pretty when he blushed and flustered under Vasco’s taunting, when he put his hand on the Naut’s arm and looked up at him with a steady and sincere gaze, he was fucking beautiful. At least Vasco thought as much when Alexis did so and offered with all good-heartedness and no ulterior motive to trace his birth family for him.

Part of Vasco’s heart or gut or other difficult to define selfhood swelled at the thought of having a brother. The Nauts had always been his family but the thought of having what he’d never had… having Blood to call his own…

They paid a merchant caravan heading to Hikmet to carry their small party with them. Vasco was quieter than usual. His thoughts kept catching on the name _d’Arcy_. He turned it over and over as they bumped awkwardly over a poorly maintained stretch of road, worrying it like some old sailors would coins or luck tokens. By the time they reached the city the word had ceased to have any sense, in that way words become noise when repeated and repeated… yet he didn’t know what sense it was _meant_ to have in the first place.

De Sardet smiled and assured him they would find Bastien before nightfall. First they set out to visit the Governor and run after whatever other busywork Alexis had in the city.

* * *

Bastien d’Arcy was everything that Vasco has thought of pampered nobility before…

He’d _thought_ \- before De Sardet showed him not everyone fit that mould. But again, he was only shown just how little Alexis De Sardet fit such low expectations.

Alexis paid off Bastien’s debts with little pause. Vasco wasn’t sure the fool deserved bailing out so easily. He let him slink away none the wiser he was anything but a stranger. All the energy and emotion that had built in him at the idea of a birth family, a brother? It faded in a moment for its fallacy.

De Sardet though… he was anything but false.

“Thank you, De Sardet.” Vasco said as they left the back alley the debt collectors had confronted Bastien in.

“Of course, my pleasure… but…” Alexis paused and let Kurt wander ahead a ways; Vasco had caught the easy way the Legate managed to protect even flimsy privacy and decorum. He was a fine diplomat, after all, even if his skills were used less self-servingly than any other Vasco had seen.

“Why did you not tell him who you were?” Alexis asked, no accusation in his tone, though some concern.

“But… I did tell him.” Vasco replied sincerely.

The concern seemed to fade, but De Sardet still looked a little confounded. He didn’t ask. Not for lack of interest, but through a desire not to intrude further into Vasco’s personal thoughts than was wished of him.

 _Even after I dragged him further into this than I’d any business to, he’d give me the right to my privacy?_ Vasco mused.

“I was stupid.” Vasco said, stopping in the archway besides some shop so that he might address De Sardet clearly. That much he owed him, at the very least. “I resented everyone… and you even more – for a life I didn’t get to live. You had everything I thought I was entitled to…”

“It’s hardly foolish to-” Alexis tried to respond but Vasco shook his head.

“No- it was…After seeing Bastien I…” Vasco’s expression grew firmer, his eyes caught the last of the evening sunlight in parches of gold, like burning torches over the grey sea. “I know I’m exactly who I want to be. A Naut. And a proud one at that.”

Alexis’ smile was more warming than any measure of rum on a cold night.

“I’m glad to hear it- No more regrets, then?”

“No more regrets,” Vasco let himself smile back, not nearly so open nor bright, but with humour and meaning. “And I certainly don’t regret not being called _Leandre d’Arcy_.”

He let his tongue roll deliberately over the syllables like a foul-tasting tincture. De Sardet chuckled.

“I can’t say I blame you: Alexis Rosario Celeste De Sardet is not the easiest thing for a child to have to learn to say fluently, let alone spell.” He said with bright humour as they set off towards the Legate’s residence.

“Rosario Celeste?” Vasco smirked, letting the names alone be the incredulous joke.

Alexis rolled his eyes. “I know… I’m told my mother was particularly sentimental at my birth. She’d lost several pregnancies before and never quiet seemed to have got over her shock and joy I came into the world healthy… I’m lucky I didn’t end up named after several more long dead relatives and every plant she thought in her state might grant fortune.”

He touched the dark mark across his jaw absently. Vasco had noticed how De Sardet tended to wear his cravat high around his neck and let his dark stubble grow in several days at a time despite the courtly trends that seemed to favour close shaven faces.

“You were born with that…uhh your mark, then?” Vasco found himself asking before he thought better of it.

De Sardet seemed to stumble on the question, like he hadn’t realised he was touching it. Still, he did not bristle so much as look melancholy…

“Yes… it was somewhat smaller in childhood but I’ve always had it. Ladies in the court used to say it was a mark of ill omens… when the Malichor grew and started claiming the better part of districts and cities when I was thirteen I couldn’t help but wonder if they were right.” Alexis said, oddly wistful. “When my mother got ill…”

He shook his head as if to banish the thought.

“Enough though- I think we’ve earned a drink, don’t you?” De Sardet forced a light tone. “I believe one of the Governor’s men mentioned a few fine bottles had been left in welcome of the Congregation’s representatives at my apartments… care to join me?”

“Of course, De Sardet,” Vasco replied.

“Honestly- What will it take for you to finally use my name…?” Alexis chided with a charming grin.

“I would be happy to, _Alexis_ ,” Vasco mocked a bow, removing his hat in an overly grand gesture.

Vasco tried to ignore how his chest swelled with unbidden feeling when Alexis laughed again and fell into step beside him. He wasn’t sure if the Legate took any note of his own hands or the way he let his hand brush once against Vasco’s arm as they walked.

* * *

That evening they drank together in the sitting room of De Sardet’s Hikmet residence, consuming more than a few glasses of the deceptively sweet brandy the Governor had gifted the Legate.

Vasco could hold his liquor better than De Sardet, that much he thought was fairly clear. He found himself swallowing back brandy and hoping that warmth in his chest would sink with it through his turbulent gut. Instead it swelled again and again as a more and more tipsy De Sardet became freer and clumsier: brushing Vasco’s hands as he passed him each drink; sitting further forward in his plush chair; touching Vasco’s arm as they laughed at some shared jibe; then abandoning his chair altogether to let his limbs sprawl with surprisingly poise across the comfortable rugs.

Alexis realised he was perhaps drunker than he should be when he caught himself leaning his head back against the empty space of sofa next to Vasco and smiling lopsidedly up at the Naut with a laugh. One of his arms was flush against Vasco’s leg. Their coats, gloves, hats and other such outerwear had been removed on arriving. A few drinks in boots and belts and other such uncomfortable things had followed. Alexis had only his linen shirt and trousers on, sleeves rolled up to his elbows and the laces at his neck half undone. His bare forearm pressed against the length of Vasco’s calf, where his trousers were pinned into wrappings that usually held them neat and tightly into his boots.

They were talking about youth. About growing up at sea in the roughness and the trials of Naut upbringing; and then about the den of vipers of the Serene court. About learning how to adapt and to survive. The sea made one hardy. But nobility made one a very different type of guarded. 

“I first turned down a marriage proposal at fourteen!” Alexis laughed openly at sharing such anecdotes. “Well… that one my uncle rejected point blank for her family’s failing prospects. But then my apparently sickliness and this mark were more and more the talk of the court and by the time I was sixteen he was desperate for any offer from a half-decent household.”

Alexis drained his glass and went to refill it swiftly. Vasco ignored the sudden absence of his warm body quite so close and arm pressed against him so haphazardly… Alexis’ face soured as he continued rambling on the subject freely as he stood and poured another glass.

“Of course ‘sickly’ meant nothing more than skinny and small…” De Sardet rolled his eyes, standing across the small, warm sitting room.

His weight was thrown to one side, left hand folded against a sharp hip, right elegantly holding his glass as only a noble could. He was small, perhaps … shorter than Vasco anyway. And slim. Almost delicate to look at with his high cheekbones and soft, dark brown hair that hung in slight curls about his face. ‘Sickly’ though, Vasco couldn’t see… Moreover, Vasco knew that slightness was deceptive. Mentally and physically, Alexis could out manoeuvre most anyone. He was quick with a rapier or pistol, and quicker with words when it came to politicking. Anyone who underestimated De Sardet was a fool…

“You were subject of gossip over that?” Vasco asked incredulously.

Alexis stared into his glass a moment and said, “I suppose I was more than a tad awkward… particularly with girls. Though that was an altogether different ‘sickness’.”

Alexis drank deeply of his glass and though Vasco was closer to drunk than not he could still read the darkness in Alexis’ tone and expression.

“Still… a Prince’s cousin is a Prince’s cousin and that’s draw enough for plenty of offers.” Alexis said, tone making it clear that any such ‘offers’ were far from wanted.

“So are you only on the island to escape your many admirers? De Sardet you dog!” Vasco jibed, laughing, hoping to lighten the tone. “Leaving a trail of jilted lovers behind you, eh?”

“Hardly.” Alexis scoffed. “I never gave any woman reason to think me interested… yet more reason for gossip, I’m sure. And for my uncle to frequently remind me of the importance of propriety… as if he’s not three Mistresses he houses in a wing of the palace, while I learned to never so much as dare-”

Alexis wasn’t so drunk that he didn’t catch his tongue. He was a diplomat. He had control even at his basest…

“Forgive me, Captain Vasco,” Alexis tried to laugh it off and turned away from Vasco, walking over to the fireplace. “I’ve let the brandy go altogether to my head.”

“You’ve nothing to be sorry for, Alexis.” Vasco stood up and walked over to De Sardet in front of the fire, drink-dulled senses placing him closer to the slim body leaning against the mantlepiece than he might have stood otherwise. “No need to feel such pressure of _propriety_ amongst friends… I’d thought we were friends by now, eh?”

Alexis smiled up at him, “yes… yes that we are, Vasco. Thank you…”

Vasco realised he was perhaps drunker than he should be when he didn’t stop himself asking…

“So… never gave any _women_ reason, you say?” Vasco intoned, Alexis tensed immediately on long trained instinct, looking down as if preparing to be called any number of hurtful things... Certain that the touch of jealousy that had struck him over De Sardet’s concern for Siora was misplaced, Vasco was hit with a strike of pity. _Gilded cages_ so they said… “Truly? There’s that much concern about such things in the Congregation? I’ve never known a Naut to give half a damn about anyone’s preferences.”

Alexis looked up at the other man, expression a mix of relief and sadness.

“Well…It depends on one’s position. The conservatism of your family. Those who have fallen under the _Light_ of Theleme’s priests are usually particularly hard on such things…” De Sardet said ‘light’ as if he’d happily spit the word into such priest’s faces. Vasco realised just how very unguarded the Legate was being to let such hostility ring openly when he held so politely even before the most zealous of Theleme’s Inquisition.

Vasco had said ‘friends’… Alexis had smiled and agreed. Vasco chest tightened and swelled under the thought.

“One’s private… _proclivities_ , one might say, are one thing,” Alexis continued, letting mockery and bitterness paint over the melancholy Vasco had caught glimpses of. “If you intend, or at least make it publicly seem you intend to marry and produce an heir or two, private matters are private enough…If you’re quiet. And subtle. And of course, one Prince’s noble mistresses may attend at court happily, as long as the bastards never posture too openly… or even another’s string of charming friends and companions from fine families, and paid company from the lower streets may be overlooked. As long as you don’t dare to pretend such relationships are worth anything next to ‘legitimate’ ones.”

The tension set back into Alexis’ jaw. Vasco placed a hand warmly on his shoulder. He seemed to soften under the touch, those layers of bitterness thinly plastered over the pains peeling back.

“Sleeping with a stableboy or a young man I met on the docks… it was embarrassing if one was caught but not exactly a scandal. And of course every court has a few lecherous older men more than happy to prey on the young and misguided…” Alexis’ voice betrayed him before his eyes did; he turned to the fire not able to look Vasco in the face as he spoke… like the last leaf clinging to a thin branch beset by winds and gales. Or the last scrap of an old, torn sail, Vasco thought, that always stood so stubborn on a mast doomed by storm-damage. “Even being with a son of another noble house… Boys are such wayward things…what’s the harm of friends being so close- even…intimate. As long as you don’t breathe a word. As long as you both swear to yourselves and each other you’ll come of age and marry and never touch each other again. As long as you don’t dare…”

Alexis voice faded into nothingness. Vasco tightened his grip on his shoulder and pulled him gently against his warm body. Alexis’ eyes were wide, shimmering pools of damp browns and greens. He willed the tears not to fall and let his head rest against Vasco’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry, Alexis,” Vasco’s voice was a soft, low rumble through Alexis’ bones. His eyes stung.

“I wasn’t in love with him… not quite. I didn’t get a chance to be. His father caught a letter he was going to send me. I never knew what it said, but obviously it was enough…I only found out through gossip he’d been sent on off to study under some academic in the Bridge Alliance. I’m sure he was forbidden to write to anyone but his father. When I tried to question his family at court about it like the idiotic teenager I was his father at least had the tact to only accuse me of ‘corrupting his son’ when in a private audience with my uncle. My uncle responded with a myriad of rumours about the young man that had long been floating around court and insisted that- the man’s son being my elder by nearly two summers- and there being no evidence I had committed any misconduct, that should the nobleman try to damage his sister and nephew’s name so he would be forced to voice his suspicions that I had been the one ‘corrupted’… The matter was dropped and gossip never dared leave my uncle’s study…” Alexis told the story like it was an ember, dark and aged in the very bottom of his lungs, not a hot flame of pain it might have been once, but still a smouldering that he lived with every breath. 

“I heard he married his tutor’s daughter last year.” Alexis pulled away from Vasco, draining his glass swiftly and coughing to clear the sudden rawness from his throat. “My uncle never let me forget how very much I owed him for defending me when he could so easily have dismissed me as a ‘degenerate’…of course, it’s no more criminal under law than any affair. But it would ruin me more than any dalliance with a woman could… and greatly damage Constantin’s reputation too, since we have always been so close- Not to mention how my heartbroken my mother would be by it… Honestly, I’m sure I’d have been forced into a marriage by now were Constantin not so adamant I must be the one to join him in New Serene… So _yes_ , I suppose one’s preferences can be a great concern in the Congregation.” 

“You might still be a subject of the Congregation, but you’re a long way from Serene now, Alexis… and your uncle and his kind.” Vasco said softly.

Alexis smiled wistfully. Without thinking, he brushed back a strand of Vasco’s hair that had come loose of the tie at the back of his head. His fingertips lingered a moment on a curved line of tattoo ink on Vasco’s jaw. The Naut’s eyes met his and Alexis’ heart pounded…

Then the Legate snatched his hand back as if burned. Anxiety suddenly seized him.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean-”

Vasco took Alexis’ hand, stopping the Legate in his tracks.

“You half look like you’re scared I would hit you,” Vasco’s said, brows raising in concern.

Alexis swallowed and smirked with bitter self deprecation, “you wouldn’t be the first man to strike me for touching him in drunken foolishness.”

Vasco gripped Alexis’ hand gently, holding his gaze steadily. Alexis was sure his heart stopped as the tall, handsome Naut drew his hand towards his tattooed face. He brushed his lips against his knuckles before opening Alexis’ palm and holding it against his own cheek. Alexis wasn’t sure he knew how to breathe. But he could feel the callouses of Vasco’s hand on the back of his, the slight raising of blue-black ink where his palm rested against the Naut’s face.

“Alexis… I’ve no objection to you touching me.” Vasco chuckled softly, arching a brow, “and while you’ve been nothing but a picture of propriety… I’m not in the habit of rejecting _impropriety_ out of hand – and certainly not from any lad as pretty as you…”

Alexis eyes widened. The haze of brandy fell away and his heart pounded against his ribs. He wanted to speak but every phrase died in his throat.

“Of course… Naut’s have a very different sense of these things.” He smirked a little, not so drunk now to not have his wits about him but tipsy enough to feel bold. He removed his hand from atop Alexis’ to trace along his jaw, over the mark there and down his delicate neck. “I wouldn’t want to ruffle your noble sensibilities.”

Alexis still couldn’t talk. Couldn’t get a word past his parted lips. Could only stare at Vasco’s gorgeous face –

Vasco, for what it was worth, was not faring much better, despite his bold talk. Glibness came easier than warm emotion… but he couldn’t help the feeling that rushed in choppily like a tide filling a rock-pool. Each word from De Sardet, each unguarded look, each touch of his fingers; they struck against the rocks and overfilled the limited space he’d thought was his ribcage.

The silence lingered, Alexis’ hand still on Vasco’s cheek, and Vasco’s in turn on the side of his neck.

Alexis broke away first. His hand drew back slowly this time, trying to disturb the quiet as little as possible. Vasco drew back as well, releasing a breath that seemed to melt the stillness. Meeting De Sardet’s eyes was suddenly a mutually difficult task.

“I think I’d better retire before I fully embarrass myself…” Alexis said eventually, not sure how or what exactly he was trying to say as he added. “I uhh- that is… thank you for… all this, Vasco. I appreciate… all of it.”

Appreciated what? Appreciated Vasco tolerating his stupidity? Appreciated him not responding was disgust to what Alexis had said? Appreciated he’d not struck him when emotion and that handsome, tattooed face had got the better of him? Appreciated that Vasco looked about as lost as he did?

Alexis wasn’t sure. He turned towards the stairs.

Vasco moved as if he meant to catch the Legate’s hand but thought better of it. Instead he said to his turned back-

“Any time, De Sar-” he stopped the name before it fell from his lips; the Legate turned to look back and was met was the Naut’s crooked smile. “…Good night, Alexis.”

“Thank you, Vasco.” He replied before he turned and walked up the stairs towards his bedroom.

* * *

Alexis seemed to keep his distance from the Naut Captain in the weeks that followed. He was polite, kind as always, but overtly businesslike. Vasco acted like he didn’t notice the change, refusing to acknowledge how he missed the budding warmth between them, the stray glances and slight brushes of De Sardet’s hand on his arm. When Vasco offered to take first watch while on the road, Alexis only nodded.

“Very good. Wake Kurt for the second, the rest of us should sleep.” The Legate said coolly.

Vasco tried not to let his hurt at the withdrawal show. Alexis masked his own emotions almost perfectly. He’d had a lifetime of training for such things. He was the Legate of the Congregation. He was a representative of his nation, the right-hand of the Governor of New Serene, ambassador and diplomat to every other faction and force on the island…

He couldn’t let anything disrupt his fledgling alliances, least of all the sort of gossiping he’d hoped to leave on the mainland. Nobility would always talk, he couldn’t give them fuel against Constantin… for all his cousin generated enough tinder for himself.

He’d said as much to Vasco: who one took to bed was one thing, but these emotions fluttering into being as he let himself be caught up on the striking Captain? He knew he wanted more than to be bedded, and Alexis had sworn off that sort of thing a long time ago.

He focused on his tasks on the island. He forged alliances with the Natives, searched every dead-end trail for a cure for the Malichor, practically ran errands for largely ungrateful Governors. Whatever was needed of him, he did. As he always had.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexis finds out the truth about his parentage and all he can do is refocus himself on Constantin's well-being. Vasco complicates matters terribly. And wonderfully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Incidentally, in my playthrough, all these main plot events (i.e. returning to tell Constantin about his birth, finding out he had Malichor and the coup) did kind of all hit one after the other (probably because of the order of side and main storyline I played I suppose) but I was intrigued by just how much poor De Sardet can get hit with all at once. Sorry if this makes the pacing a bit jarring, but I thought it gave an interesting tension.  
> The song referenced is a version of 'Bold Riley', a British folk tune, origins unknown.

The attempted Coin Guard coup hit De Sardet hard. Admiral Cabral had barely breathed out the truth of Alexis’ origins before he was staring at the man he’d always called cousin’s face, stricken by obvious illness… Kurt’s hesitation did not last long in the face of De Sardet and Constantin, the boys he’d trained and lived alongside since the elder was a gangly princeling of some fourteen summers.. It was the intensity of the look on Alexis’ face when he saw the black blood and flew to his cousin (for what else could he be?) that did it- the desperate will to protect that was the same light Kurt had seen in the lad’s eyes when he was ten years old and threw himself without thought into any mockery or punishment sent Constantin’s way. Whatever trouble Constantin landed himself in, somehow Alexis always took the fall. Kurt knew De Sardet would throw himself on any sword before he saw his dear cousin harmed. He would continue, whether there was blood between them or not. Whether it be their intense reliance on each other in the gilded cages of their childhood or the way De Sardet was quite honestly groomed to support the needs of the the royal line, Alexis’ instincts would always drive him to it. Kurt feared one day it would finally kill him. But his Master of Arms decided in that moment, that this would not be that day.

Kurt’s loyalty saved many from a much bloodier fates, but Alexis was clearly more than rattled by the experience. Not to mention Constantin’s illness… He’d not once spoken of the notion of his parentage since informing his cousin. Vasco and Kurt had been with him when the Admiral spoke the truth. The others were present when he revealed it to Constantin. Yet, he had not directly discussed it with any of them. Alexis meant to. He meant to find the words to speak to Siora of it all, of what and who he was now. He had yet to find those words. He had yet to bring himself to question the look on Petrus’ face when he spoke the limited knowledge he had been given to Constantin. Alexis knew that Petrus knew something, but he lacked the ability to even begin to pursue that thought yet.

All he could begin to think about was Constantin’s health and the dead ends of the search for a cure and the need for the healer Siora told him of to do something. Anything.

When he was not directly occupied with Constantin himself, De Sardet seemed unable to keep the threads of his thoughts together. He could not bring words to the silent storm, only simmered away in sleepless tension.

Vasco found him two nights after the failed coup in the small garden at the back of his New Serene residence. Aphra had given him a look as he passed her in the small study that lead out onto the cobbled walk behind. She nodded to him quietly. Skilled the young researcher had proven she was in the month since she joined them, but matters of the heart and soul… those were clearly what troubled De Sardet and those were hardly her area of expertise.

Not that Vasco felt much better equipped, were he honest, but he had to try-

“Up late again I see,” Vasco commented as he approached the Legate. “You’ve hardly rested since we returned to the city. You’d best try to sleep, you’re to be off again at dawn, aren’t you?”

Alexis turned to him, expression absent.

“I’ve never been a peaceful sleeper. After the last few days…” Alexis shook his head. “I can’t imagine many would be sleeping well in my place.”

“A fair assessment,” Vasco replied. “I find a walk by the docks calms my nerves on a troubled night- care to join me, De Sardet?”

Alexis had stopped prompting Vasco to call him by given name. He pretended he didn’t notice.

“Very well,” De Sardet nodded and followed Vasco through the house and out the front door.

The Naut received another measured look of concern from Aphra. He could only shrug slightly and look back at her to convey he would do what he could.

They walked in silence a time. Vasco greeted the Nauts they passed as they wandered towards the edge of the port. Most he knew. Those he didn’t still nodded politely in acknowledgement of the Captain.

“Siora and I are heading out towards Wenshaganaw in search of the healer she told me of.” Alexis said finally. “Kurt has already agreed to join us but…”

The Legate hesitated. He looked over at the Seahorse, anchored safe in port. It seemed so long ago he’d spent those months aboard the ship, waiting for a New World to appear on the horizon…

“I’d appreciate your support if you’d be willing to join us?” Alexis finished.

“Aye, of course,” Vasco replied, smirking self-deprecatingly. “A landlocked Naut had always best make use of himself.”

“You’ve plenty of skills worth having on land,” Alexis shot a weak smile in Vasco’s direction.

“Thank you, Excellency. You flatter me…” Vasco mocked a bow, removing his tricorn as he affects the parody of noble civility that he knew could bring a smile to De Sardet’s face. The chuckle it indeed earned from Alexis was heartening, sparking up that not-forgotten warmth in Vasco’s chest.

He straightened up and walked on further along the dock, Alexis quickly falling into pace beside him.

“I was meaning to ask-” Vasco said after a time, he felt an arse for even beginning to ask at a time like this but it needed to be raised . “I spoke with Admiral Cabral earlier today. I suggested I might undertake a Naut tradition to reassert my dedication to the guild… a Loyalty Mission of her choosing.”

“I see,” Alexis responded. “I’d gladly help you complete your assignment after I’ve located the healer for Constantin… if you desire it, of course?”

Vasco nodded, a certain relief washing over him that De Sardet had not called him a self-interested fool for bringing it up at all. As if Alexis De Sardet, with all his warmth of heart and barely concealed sympathy for others would do anything but offer to help, regardless of the implications.

“Very much so.” Vasco replied.

He explained the task Cabral had given him. He hoped, if nothing else, the task might offer something to distract from the storm behind the Legate’s eyes. De Sardet agreed they would search for the wreckage of the lost vessel as soon as he’d found a healer for his cousin. Conveniently, the healer was supposedly near the same coast, so there’d be no delay in Vasco’s assignment. Though he knew the wreck was hardly going anywhere soon, he appreciated how De Sardet recognised the importance of this task to him.

They wandered slowly back towards the Legate’s apartments. De Sardet opened the door quietly, hoping not to disturb their fellows’ rest, and Vasco secured it as delicately. Without discussion, they both silently climbed the stairs to their chambers. De Sardet stopped a moment outside Vasco’s door.

“Thank you, Vasco,” he said softly, “for clearing my head a little.”

“I hope you get some rest, De Sardet.” Vasco offered by way of response.

“- _Alexis_ , please…” the Legate corrected, a slight spark in his hazel eyes.

Vasco smiled in reply. “Goodnight, Alexis.”

Alexis took a step towards his own door. Vasco put his hand to his door handle. Then Alexis stopped, reaching awkwardly out…

Hesitantly, he touched his fingertips to Vasco’s hand, wanting to draw it in, press kisses across the knuckles, the callouses of the palm… Vasco took Alexis’ hand-

And the Legate pulled away in a moment.

“Goodnight, Vasco-”

De Sardet turned and went swiftly to his own room. He closed the door and leaned heavily back against it, heart pounding an intense rhythm against his chest.

No.

No he couldn’t go down this road.

He would find the healer to ease Constantin’s pains while he hunted for a cure. He would help Vasco complete his Loyalty Mission and, the Admiral pleased, the Captain could surely return to his crew as soon as he wished.

Alexis knew Vasco would not want to linger on land for long. He thought of watching the Naut go. A shake of hands and wish of ‘fair winds’ perhaps, before Alexis pressed on with his work to save his cousin. What else could he possibly do? Constantin needed him. Whatever else he or his blood or his lineage or the lies that had followed his every step were- Constantin was his dearest cousin and friend and he could not do without Alexis’ support at his shoulder. Nor did Alexis know who he was at all were he not the cousin ready to protect Constantin. Alexis would stay at his cousin’s back, but he could not ask others to chain themselves to him so.

He wondered if Vasco would look back as he sailed out of the New Serene port. His chest constricted like it had been pierced through with some spear’s sharpened point. All he could imagine was a ship’s mast running him through as he collapsed into his bed.

* * *

The creature on the beach reared up at the presence of intruders before any of them had a chance to prepare. Siora cried out in warning as she launched herself out of the way of the Guardian. She fired a spell into its flank to draw it off from Kurt long enough for him to draw his broadsword.

“It’s bile is poison, be careful not to touch it!” Siora called out to the others.

Vasco leapt out of the way of the toxic substance the creature spat towards him, pushing Alexis back against the rock face to their side to keep him from the stuff. The Legate was caught off balance and unprepared, but recovered in a second, pistol drawn and shot fired straight at the creature’s strange tendril that whipped out towards he and Vasco. He drew his rapier and slashed back another such tendril before pushing off and weaving across the sand of the beach.

The fight stretched on brutally. Siora burning at the creature’s thick skin with her magic in an effort to break through the strong protective armour it provided. Kurt tried to draw the beast in close enough to avoid the cutting strikes of the tendrils that burst forth from its body, leaping out of the way when it braced itself to launch forward and rush the fighter over to the ground. Vasco kept a distance, firing frantic shots of his pistol and attempting to keep loading it as quickly as possible to aim another round into the creature’s weakened right side.

Alexis ran past him in a blur of motion and anxiety of battle. The Legate was never still for more than half a second. A constant and rapid moving target that launched himself through the sand to strike at the creature again and again. Were the sand not catching his steps, De Sardet would look as graceful as he ever did with his dancer’s footwork. As the fight drew on, though, fatigue wore away at his slim body.

Finally, raw flesh was exposed at the Guardian’s side and Kurt sunk a heavy blow that clearly damaged it greatly. Alexis kept up the pressure, but he was just as clearly flagging. His movements were still fast, but he got sloppier, struggled to dodge the whipping tendrils…

He caught his foot, twisted on his ankle poorly and hit the ground hard, back first. The Guardian struck out at him. The blows carved into Alexis’ abdomen.

“Greenblood! Watch it!” Kurt called out, trying in vain to close the ten feet or so between he and the creature.

Alexis managed to lift his gun and shot the creature directly in what seemed its head, the blast stunning it a moment and letting him scramble up. Vasco ran towards the Legate’s struggling form as Kurt drew the creature’s attention. He pierced it through at that raw patch of exposed flesh. The thing was hurt badly now and seemed unable to keep its unbalanced legs under it. Siora’s magic kept it frantically trying to beat back the flames and sparks in desperation while Kurt finished the thing off with his heavy blade.

Alexis managed to stand and attempted to wave off Vasco’s concern. He clutched the wound across his stomach and saw blood soak the torn fabric of his coat.

“It’s alright…” De Sardet took a few steps forward, the sand clung to his boots and suddenly it seemed so very heavy. His whole body did. “I’m alright…”

Alexis’ voice was strained. Vasco wrapped an arm around him to support his weight as his steps grew more laboured. Panic set into his stomach the second Vasco touched him. Barely keeping himself together, all he could manage in the way of reasoned thought was _I will not crumble in front of him._ He could not cope with Vasco’s concern… with the totality of his weakness in the Naut’s eyes if he couldn’t even drag himself back to the nearby village with a flesh wound.

No. He did not – _could_ not need his help.

“I can walk…” Alexis said and shrugged Vasco’s arm off, focusing on the path forward.

He pushed through the pain and the heaviness of his body. Each step was a concerted effort, but if he could just get to the village they might all rest and beg the healing magic and skills of Castach and his clan. Their group’s aid over the last two days clearing out animals and missionaries alike had won the trust of the healer, enough so that he was willing to travel back to New Serene with them to tend to Constantin. Alexis was sure if he got his wound seen to, he could have them on the road at first light tomorrow.

So single-minded was he, that he didn’t even notice the logbook Vasco took care to recover from the wreckage near the now-lifeless Guardian’s body. The conclusions that followed from the Naut about the fate of the ship and the creature it had been carrying raised little response from the Legate. As far as Vasco could reason, Alexis was anxious to have this side-tracking concluded, though as ever was far too polite to say so. Once they reached the Native settlement close-by, De Sardet quickly disappeared, apparently to further discuss matters with the Native leader, Castach. Once again, Vasco found himself met with what he could only read as the cool professionalism of the Legate of the Congregation… the way he’d easily refused support, shrugged off Vasco’s touch and seemed determined to avoid so much as meeting his eyes.

They were invited to share the food, shelter and company of the tribe that night. Alexis lingered by the edge of the fire, Castach never seeming to move overly far from him, but carrying little obvious concern for the bandages packed neatly around his midriff. Vasco kept catching himself staring off in the Legate’s direction. The firelight made the green dance in his hazel eyes and the brown of his hair flickered gold. He touched an absent hand to the mark along his jaw, half-hidden by a week’s stubble. Vasco’s chest twisted.

_Seas curse you- gorgeous fucking noble shit._

The Naut wanted to kick himself. He knew he was so long past it being about De Sardet’s pretty face. A pretty face had never made him indulge the doubt about the life given him so fully. And then Alexis had the audacity to support him so warmly as he worked through his resent to find his way back to… himself? Vasco. Naut Captain. Damned proud. Raised at sea, taking his first steps on the deck of a ship…

No one, no matter how attractive, or even how wonderful of a bed partner- no one had ever made him falter in his desire to set sail at the first opportunity. He might have resented the noble life he’d not lived, the family he’d not had- might have let himself resent the identity of Naut for a moment… but he’d never for a second wished to remain on land. Be it his nature or his upbringing, he belonged at sea, he had no doubt.

De Sardet was pretty. Beautiful. Kind. Skilled. Damnably _Good_. And he had made his withdrawal clear enough, surely? Whatever Alexis felt for him, be it anything at all, Vasco was sure the Legate intended nothing but professionalism. The moments he had let anything emotional, vulnerable or raw be glimpsed were nothing but slips. Vasco had been allowed a rare view into such a man’s inner turbulence. But it was not a slip Alexis wanted to indulge any more. If Vasco belonged at sea, Alexis belonged to the machinations of nobility. Vasco was not foolhardy enough to believe that could change.

And yet he looked at Alexis De Sardet’s quiet, pensive face as he stared off into the fire and all Vasco could think was, _I don’t want to leave him._

* * *

The journey back to New Serene was thankfully uneventful. Castach was brought straight to the Governor’s chambers, Constantin having been confined by the Court doctors to his bed as his weakness worsened.

Vasco lingered with the others in the grand throne room. He should have reported in to Admiral Cabral. Not to mention how the buzz of the gossiping upper crust, the stench of self-interest heavy about them, made his skin itch. Yet neither he or any of De Sardet’s companions wished to leave the Governor’s palace until they had some word… Constantin was alive, that they knew, but Alexis’ concern seeped out from him and left them all on edge. None of them voiced the fact shared between them, but they all knew their concern was far more on the Legate’s well-being should the Native healer not be able to offer some treatment, than the Governor himself. Not that any of them were uncaring for Constantin. The Prince was a good sort, if a bit ridiculous. But it was Alexis who drew their friendship and loyalty to him like moths to a lantern-

A lantern with a carefully covered flame, enclosed safely. Vasco wondered when exactly he’d found the crack in that covering that left him to be burned up in a flame that had done all it could to keep him away. Regardless of the when, he was sure it made him a fool. The warmth and light and turmoil of De Sardet’s fire seemed to continue its pull. He supposed that made him a willing fool.

* * *

De Sardet busied himself with Constantin for several days. He barely left the governor’s palace, moving between the public throne room, Constantin’s office, and his bedside. He worked all but tirelessly at reassuring nobles, ensuring all the business Constantin’s retainers and advisors brought to him was seen to long before it reached the man himself- he needed to rest and Alexis was hells-bent on ensuring he got it.

His companions came and went, checking in it seemed before finding business of their own to occupy them in the city and beyond. Kurt spent most of his time following leads on the back-room dealings they had uncovered amongst the Coin Guard. Even with the coup attempt crushed and most of those responsible facing justice, still there were yet seeds of corruption in need to uprooting. Siora had remained behind at the village of Wenshaveye on some business for her tribe that needed to be settled. Aphra disappeared into the study of De Sardet’s residence, chasing down a scholarly matter and exchanging a slew of letters back to other researchers in Hikmet in terms none of the rest of the group began to follow. Petrus lingered around the Governor’s palace, ill at ease amongst his usual habitat of political machinations, though no one was any the wiser as to what had him so off balance. Alexis intended to ask when Constantin’s health was improved. Castach was positive enough about matters that the Legate refused to even think in terms of ‘if’. Constantin would survive and return to health. He had to. Alexis had no room to think of anything else for days on end.

Vasco, finding himself something of a loose end, did what any man in his position might: he went to the tavern. He’d hoped to clear his head and drown his concerns for an evening, but he only got halfway through his second pint before the chair opposite him was pulled back with a scrape. Kurt deposited himself heavily into the chair, setting down his own drink and cutting straight to the point:

“De Sardet’s barely concealing his threadbare nerves anymore and hells knows with that one you’re only ever seeing the half of it…” Kurt shook his head, adjusting his hat and rubbing at his aching head. “Try to convince the idiot to get some rest at the least, would you?”

Vasco looked at the Coin Guard incredulously. “And you think I’ve got any better chance in that endeavour than you?”

Kurt crossed his arms over his chest, levelling Vasco with an equally well humoured look.

“Of getting De Sardet to bed? Absolutely.” Kurt smirked all the more at Vasco’s shocked expression. “- don’t give me that look. I spend enough time seeing you make eyes at each other to know which way the wind’s blowing. Greenblood might be good at concealing his exhaustion but I saw the boy stumble through puberty- I can tell when he’s pining… And before you try to argue, don’t. You’re not all that subtle, Captain.”

Kurt’s surprisingly brotherly concern was also less subtle than he might have wished. There was a genuine warmth behind his mocking; enough that Vasco felt he need not be totally guarded about whatever maelstrom he found himself still attempting to confine…

“If only it were half so easy getting him to bed,” Vasco sighed.

“Hmm… thought as much. _Bloody idiots_.” Kurt cursed. “Well… as someone who gives much more of a damn about that boy than I’m paid to, I’d tell you: good. He’s been used poorly by bastards I’d happily punch in the jaw. A few I’d dismember for their trouble if I could. If you think you’re going to be one of them I’d probably shoot you full of holes in a minute. Which is before Constantin displayed your organs like hunting trophies…”

Vasco raised his hands in surrender. “I would expect nothing less, Captain.”

Kurt nodded before softening his tone … as much as he ever did that is. “But as someone who knows Alexis De Sardet too well for either of our own good: he’s more than sweet on you. More importantly I’m sick of watching you two circle each other like pups.”

“However he does or doesn’t feel, I think he’s made his wish to preserve his distance clear.” Vasco replied.

Kurt levelled him with something dangerously close to a glare. “Don’t be a fucking idiot.”

“Excuse me?” Vasco blinked.

“Look…” Kurt rubbed at his face in a mixture of exasperation and awkwardness. “He’s scared. With his upbringing it’s no wonder… but De Sardet is smart and whether you call what he does politicking or manipulation he’s damned good at it. If he wanted you gone, you would be.”

Vasco was confounded. Surely if Alexis cared to have him so close, he’d have directed some of that talent towards making it so? If De Sardet wanted him, truly, he’d have had him by now. He might well carry the fear of someone raised in an environment where his desires were a source of shame… but Vasco had made it known that he would not recoil from that desire: that he would not reject Alexis’ advances, or indeed the man himself.

“If he wanted me, he’s more than the social talents to have me.” Vasco said, a little bitterly. Nauts weren’t generally awkward when it came to matters of sex. He wasn’t embarrassed to admit his availability to De Sardet. He wasn’t ashamed of it.

Kurt sighed, cursing. “For fuck’s sake… you’re both ridiculous and I’m not qualified for any of this-”

A gang of drunken Coin Guards brushed clumsily past their otherwise undisturbed table. Kurt lowered his voice a little, though his frustration remained evident.

“He’s always been bloody terrified of anything that could disrupt his reputation and more importantly his usefulness in Constantin’s protection.” Kurt clipped his words, being clear and hoping internally his confidence he had the right of things was justified. “However scared he is what fucking a Naut would do to that reputation, he won’t stop giving you those kicked puppy eyes. He’s holding a torch here- Make a damned move if you’re going to, because for all his pretty words he can’t do it himself.”

Kurt got up and moved across the busy room towards the bar before Vasco could respond further. He needed another fucking drink.

* * *

When the scent of sea salt and gunpowder washed into Constantin’s quiet office one afternoon, it caught Alexis off guard, shaking the haze of the past few days from his bones starkly. There was a knock, and in swept the Captain- Alexis’ heart stuttered to life. The pall fell off and in a sudden moment he was a human man with blood and stomach and heart… not just some automaton keeping Court business afloat.

Vasco had fresh tattoos just above each cheek bone, judging by the slight redness to his skin no more than two days old. They curved beautifully along the angle of his face. Alexis’ gut twisted. Surely there was no clearer sign of the Naut Captain’s dedication to his guild. And with that came the return to the sea… any delay Alexis tried to put on the matter would only make things more uncomfortable for them both.

Alexis’ gaze traced the new tattoos on Vasco’s face. His fingertips itched to chart the course of the tales across that face, down the neck and away into the unread volumes of chest and abdomen- he’d caught glimpses in camp of early mornings, he knew the tattoos’ lines continued down well past what he had made study of on the handsome face. The Legate curled one hand tightly on itself in the pocket of his long jacket, nails digging into the skin of his palm. He counted his breaths silently to focus himself as he stood up.

“Captain Vasco,” he smiled in greeting. “Anything you need?”

Vasco bit the inside of his lip. _Seas…_ there was plenty he could think to ask of De Sardet when it came to ‘need’, but none he’d dare let himself voice.

“In fact, I meant to ask that of you, Alexis,” Vasco chose his distancing carefully. He crossed the room but did not move in any way around the barrier of the desk Alexis had kept between them. He used the other man’s given name but his tone was measured without being entirely formal: a Naut who refused to bow to noble niceties trying not to push too hard at the boundaries of a young man whose identity was reeling between his own upbringing and the revelations of his birth… There was a delicate balance that neither of them thought would hold for long and the anxiety of that fact seemed to hang in the warm air.

“In that case…” Alexis looked down, running a hand over the papers on the desk before absently pushing it through his dark auburn hair. He aimed for a smile but it didn’t quite reach his tired eyes. “Thank you for your concern- but managing diplomatic matters is straightforward compared to our recent adventures.”

Vasco leaned his hip against the arm of one of plush chair on his side of the desk, raising an eyebrow incredulously. “And I’m sure those dark circles under your eyes and the fact your standing with your weight off kilter from that wound not being healed right are signs of your sparkling health?”

Alexis sighed at being read so easily and folded into his chair as if in defeat. “Well… I can’t say I’ve been resting well but it’s hardly the worst of my worries right now.”

“At least take a break, eh?” Vasco softened his voice. “I’ve seen enough crew-mates run themselves ragged thinking they have to bear every task alone to know you’ll be if no use to anyone if you work yourself into illness.”

Alexis rubbed at the bridge of his nose. His eyes stung from reading papers for hours and the wound on his stomach was indeed bothering him more than it should be. Castach had told him more than once he’d only heal properly with rest and, preferably, regular square meals… he’d been having little of either.

“When did you last get some fresh air?” Vasco probed carefully but not without a bite of concern. Judging by the almost guilty look that crossed Alexis’ face it had been a while. “Will you take a walk with me in that case? Light’s fading- a stroll to clear your head and then a night’s rest in your own bed should do you a world of good as I reckon it…”

Vasco didn’t phrase it as a question but also was far from forceful. The underlying tone understood between them: I’ll not fight you, but you know damned well I’m right… Alexis nodded and stood, his skull throbbing with a brewing headache.

“Alright,” he assented in easy surrender. “I could use it- my limbs are all knots from sitting at a desk these past two days.”

Vasco smiled as Alexis followed him towards the door, muttering, “good lad,” without thinking.

Alexis’ tired eyes shot a sidelong look up at him, pupils widening subtly, illustrating he had indeed heard the comment. De Sardet looked away as quickly, a flush colouring his cheeks and he pressed ahead to lead them through the hall. Vasco coughed awkwardly, feeling deeply conscious of himself and cursing his careless tongue.

They walked quietly, Alexis either too awkward or exhausted to manage much in the way of conversation. Vasco seemed to naturally direct himself towards the docks: _a seabird always drawn out towards the ocean_ , Alexis thought. A group of Nauts was clustered about outside of one of the large warehouses. They greeted the Captain warmly. Alexis recognised most of them from the crew they had sailed to the island with. They welcomed De Sardet too, albeit more uncertainly, unsure how exactly to address him or carry themselves when nobility wandered into their domain at the side of their own. Alexis was sure the rumours already floating around the docks about the information Cabral had given him. Though spoken in confidence, quarters amongst Nauts were close and he was under no illusions whispers had not been spreading. De Sardet confused things more than ever when it came to how one should behave. Vasco knew the feeling.

“Care to join us Cap’n, ya Excellency?” An elderly Naut gestured to the spare space amongst the crates and barrels they perched on and the several bottles that remained unopened with their supply.

Vasco turned to Alexis, lowering his voice enough that, though hardly true privacy, Alexis felt the sincerity of the Naut’s concern for his wishes: “if you’d rather get home…?”

Alexis also felt the eyes of the Nauts on him and the slight smirks and nudges that passed between them at seeing the way Vasco leaned closely and addressed the Legate so softly…

“I’d not say no to a drink.” Alexis said brightly to the old Naut, who smiled and poured him one in a dented tin cup. “Thank you… Alda, wasn’t it?”

“Aye sir,” the woman raised her own cup in toast to him, smile reaching the weather-worn wrinkles that dulled the lines of tattoos at the corner of her eyes.

“Are you to be in port long?” Alexis asked, mainly in an effort to draw less attention to himself.

“We’ve supply runs to make between here and the other Teer Fradee cities in the next week but Admiral says we’re to be on the island for another month at least.” Flavia replied to the question. Alexis nodded and sipped at his drink. He was thankful for the other Naut’s interest in their Captain’s – or was that their erstwhile Captain’s?- travels to redirect conversation to Vasco.

Jonas the cabin boy whom De Sardet had tracked down in Serene was plucking awkwardly at a slightly weather-beaten guitar. A younger boy sat watching quite fixedly. Vasco ruffled the boy’s messy brown hair as he passed him to take another bottle from the group’s ample supply. He looked to have seen no more than thirteen summers and the other Nauts clearly took a kind of collective responsibility for the lad.

“Don’t let me catch you up past nightfall, aye Fitz?” Vasco said to the boy, warm but stern. “You’re needed up first light I’m sure.”

Flavia prodded the boy affectionately in the arm. “Oh aye, a lad needs his beauty sleep.”

The boy pouted but nodded. Vasco poured De Sardet a none too modest cup before taking the rum bottle by the neck and swigging from it with a smirk that set Alexis’ heart stumbling. He took the offered cup and sat himself on a crate next to Vasco, trying to avoid his amused golden eyes.

He grimaced at the stiff drink as much as the discordant guitar. Clearly neither Jonas nor the other boy had much experience with the instrument.

“That could do with tuning,” Alexis interjected, now hoping to distract himself from the warmth flooding his face.

“Pardon, ya Excellency?” Jonas looked up confused.

“Do you mind if I borrow that a moment?” Alexis gestured at the guitar, setting down his cup.

“Of course!” Jonas handed the instrument across to him.

“You play, sir?” The small Naut lad looked up at him with a certain wonderment. “Didn’t know a noble who played any music themselves.”

Alexis chuckled. “Plenty do, but mostly the dull courtly kind. I learned to play a few instruments and sing for parties and such when I was a boy.”

He tuned up the guitar carefully, adjusting each peg in turn to find the right intervals and coax the aged instrument back into harmonies. It was a fine guitar: Well made and treated, if roughened by years of use and travel. He plucked an absent little tune, something pulled from one of the intricate sonata one of his tutors had insisted he learned inside out years ago. Alexis caught Vasco watching him with intrigue and warmth fluttered in his stomach. He looked towards Jonas and young Fitz.

“Play us something please,” the child piped up excitedly. Jonas jabbed him in the arm, ready to scold the boy for speaking so freely to nobility. “- I mean… please, Excellency? Would you mind…?”

Alexis felt even more overly aware of himself than he already had done, but the boy was sweet, and he was loathe to refuse him.

“Well… most of the music I’d know is horribly boring but…” Alexis thought quickly through the handful of pieces he could remember and smiled as one came to him. “I do know a few songs my nurse used to sing me when I was your sort of age. She had a handsome young Naut suitor and used to take me to watch ships in and out of the docks.”

Fitz nodded enthusiastically. Alexis laughed and took a hefty swig of his drink and replaced it on the ground before going on.

“Very well… I think I remember one…”

He strummed away a little to recall the tune. The Naut had taught it to her, his nurse had said. The memory of the melody came easily, and his fingers seemed to recall the right shapes and movements. He started plucking out the old tune.

_“Oh the rain it rains all day long_

_Bold Riley O, Bold Riley_

_And the northern wind, it blows so strong_

_Bold Riley O has gone away…”_

Alexis had as fine a voice as one could expect of a well trained, self-disciplined young man with his upbringing… Vasco was still struck dumb a moment when he started singing. As he settled into the music, Alexis seemed to relax a little, having to focus less on each movement of his hands and letting the tone come out more.

_“Goodbye my sweetheart, goodbye my dear O_

_Bold Riley O, Bold Riley_

_Goodbye my darlin', goodbye my dear O_

_Bold Riley O has gone away…”_

Letting the emotion of the old tune take him away a little, Alexis looked up and found himself gazing a moment on Vasco’s face. His eyes caught again on the fresher tattoos above his cheekbones. The exhaustion in his bones and slight buzz of alcohol he’d already drunk dulled his already compromised emotional control. He realised he was singing a dock girl’s lament for her lover and Vasco was watching him with those gorgeous eyes golden in the late evening light: Vasco the proud Naut Captain who was surely trying to find the moment to set sail again. Alexis looked off towards the docked vessels beyond them to avoid staring at the man’s face any longer as his heart seized on itself. He focused on the old song and not the desperate pain in his chest.

He finished the song to a smattering of applause and a whistle or two from the gathered Nauts. Alexis smiled sheepishly, handing off the guitar back to the cabin boy. He waved off the praise and returned to his drink quickly.

“You are as always a surprise, De Sardet,” Vasco said with a warmth and soft sort of amusement.

Alexis met Vasco’s eyes. He swallowed his rum with an awkward gulp. The softness in the Naut’s expression set Alexis’ heart racing anew. There was altogether too much warmth there. Too much silent understanding. Too much promise…Alexis had sworn himself off such tender feelings a long time ago. And yet he sat there basking in the sensation of Vasco’s presence: The kindness and humour he had offered. The absolute disregard he threw in the face of high society stupidity, and yet the gentle respect he seemed to give to Alexis’ long-conditioned boundaries. The simple way any brush of his calloused hands threatened to melt Alexis’ propriety away into nothingness….

If nothing else, he certainly shouldn’t be letting himself fall for a man who would only ever be waiting to sail away again.

Alexis chocked on his drink, spluttering a moment as the rum burned his throat. Vasco chuckled and patted his back firmly.

“Easy there… don’t want you passing out from a drink and a half- these lot would never let you forget it.” Vasco’s teasing was as much aimed at his old crew as Alexis, but still the weight of Vasco’s palm lingered between his shoulder blades and radiated heat down his spine.

Alexis cleared his throat and sipped more carefully at his drink. Vasco’s hand fell away from his back and Alexis tried to ignore the sense of its absence. As the conversation between the Nauts continued, he was aware of Vasco’s leg shifting, the heat of his thigh pressing against Alexis’ own. He tried to blame the tingling of his spine on the buzz of alcohol and not the contact, but he knew it would convince no one. He also knew with how exhausted he felt, and how little he had been eating in the past few days, that the rate he was kicking back the Nauts’ only mildly watered-down rum was unwise. He took the bottle offered to him by Flavia and refilled his cup. For once in his damned life Alexis didn’t want to care about what was wise.

* * *

Nightfall came over the docks. Young Fitz was encouraged off to his bed, lanterns were lit, yet more Nauts wandered over to their group as drink flowed and the conversation grew louder and more raucous. The night drew on, laughter and song and rowdy tales buzzed about him as Alexis let the tension in his every vein uncoil…

Vasco could tell the Legate was drunk enough to justify the way he kept half an eye always on his small frame. He watched quietly as Alexis laughed freely at some dirty joke of old Alda’s, spluttering over his drink as the old Naut slapped his shoulder and cackled away. Recovering, Alexis leaned back a little precariously in his seat, a flush on his cheeks. He caught Vasco’s gaze from where he stood a few feet away, leaning against an old crate. Alexis smiled over his cup, his expression unguarded and warm, eyes glowing in the lantern light. Vasco smirked and went to take another swig of his drink, only to find the bottle in his hand drained. He glanced round for another… Perhaps he was drunker than he thought.

Alexis reached for a bottle behind him. He wobbled only slightly in doing so and pulled his legs up onto the make-shift seat. Cross-legged, blush painting his cheeks and sparkle in his eyes, Alexis De Sardet held out the bottle in offer towards Vasco with a grin. Vasco’s heart stopped as he walked the handful of steps over to him.

“A drink for our own bold Captain.” Alexis smiled and pushed the bottle into Vasco’s hand.

“You’re drunk, your Excellency.” Vasco commented, pulling the cork from the bottle and wasting no time in kicking back a mouthful of rum: straight, burning only a little down his throat, not the watered grog Nauts tended to sip to pad out their supplies as best they could.

Alexis laughed… no, it was honestly a giggle, his delicate face almost splitting with the grin across it. _Fuck._ Vasco took another swig to force himself to look away from the enrapturing features.

“That I am- and thank fuck for it!” A couple of Nauts whooped their praise. Alexis thrust his empty cup towards Vasco’s chest. “I’m out of the palace. I’ve no fucking ‘excellence’ to speak of and I’m free to do what the hell I want- and I want another drink.”

Vasco shook his head with a chuckle and took the cup. “At your word, Excellency.”

Alexis slapped Vasco’s arm playfully. The motion threatened to send him crashing to the ground had Vasco not stood steady as he did.

“I’ll take your mocking if it comes with a damned drink.” Alexis pouted.

Vasco chucked and placed down De Sardet’s cup on top of a spare barrel to refill it. Rather than the bottle Alexis had passed him, Vasco filled the cup from the water barrel instead. A Naut’s constitution the Legate did not have. It took a few sips before he noticed, screwing up his nose like a displeased child.

“Hey! I said a drink-” Alexis protested.

“And you have one.” Vasco replied, adding before he could catch himself: “Best to finish it, eh lad?”

 _Again with that? Get a-fucking-hold of yourself!_ Vasco wanted to slap himself upside the head. Alexis rolled his eyes but drank down the water.

“Pick your angle, Captain.” Alexis’ words were slurring. “Either I’m the haughty noble or a hapless boy but you can’t mock me as both at the same time.”

Vasco raised an eyebrow at the challenge, smirking in amusement. “I’ll mock you however I please. The haughty noble in you is hardly going to get me keelhauled for taking such liberty, are you?”

Alexis melted under the proverbial competition. Vasco was right. He could jest but there was no bite. No substance. Vasco only needed push and De Sardet would fold...and damned but if his rum-hazed mind didn’t long for Vasco to just make that push.

Finishing the cup of water, Alexis slammed to empty vessel onto the ground next to him and made a swipe for the bottle in Vasco’s hand. An instinctive dodge and misjudged distance later and Alexis fell towards the ground in an altogether inelegant heap.

To the laughter and jibes of the other Nauts, Vasco helped De Sardet onto his feet. He handed the bottle off to Flavia, who was clearly enjoying the spectacle far too much. “Now I think that’s sign it’s about time to get you home.”

Alexis’ protests fell on deaf ears as his first step saw him swaying dangerously. Vasco quickly wrapped an arm around the smaller man’s shoulder and steered him past the amused Nauts.

“Night, Captain! Ya Excellency.” Flavia bid them with a laugh.

“Don’t go starting any dock fires you rabble!” Vasco called back in the voice of a tolerant but scolding Captain as he walked De Sardet off towards the main square.

Alexis didn’t pay much attention to the walk back to his apartments. He let his head fall onto the comfortable plane of Vasco’s chest as he leaned into the steady weight guiding him. The door was thankfully unlocked, and Vasco was able to bundle De Sardet into his own sitting room. The young housemaid the governor employed to manage his cousin’s residence appeared at the kitchen door but he waved her off to bed kindly. He would handle the drunken Legate.

He sat Alexis down on the sofa and fetched a cup of water from the kitchen. Alexis offered little in the way of resistance, draining the water quickly and handing Vasco back the cup with a soft, “thank you.”

Getting De Sardet up to his bedroom was less of a challenge than it might have been. He was a little steadier on his feet now and relatively pliable. Moreover, he was shorter and slimmer than Vasco and easy enough to manoeuvre. Vasco got the door open, relieved to see the maid had cared to light the fire and closed the drapes, basking the room in a dull glow of light and comfortable warmth. Alexis managed to guide himself to crumple onto his soft bed.

“I’d make a shit Naut.” He commented with a smile.

“I’ve seen men hold their rum worse, don’t worry.” Vasco replied, fetching the jug of water from Alexis’ desk and placing it with a glass on the side table next to the bed. “Birth, gift or occasionally choice makes a Naut, De Sardet, not drink.”

“- _Alexis._ ” He corrected, leaning back on his pillows. “Might not be the name my mother would have given me but it’s still mine… It’s what the Princess De Sardet gifted me…”

“Alexis.” Vasco echoed.

“I’d have been sea-born… if the Nauts claimed me.” Alexis looked up at Vasco. In the dim light of the room they were turbulent pools of brown. He continued in ironical disbelief: “Petrus confirmed it- Cabral’s story… born on a Naut boat-”

“A _ship_. We sail ships. Boats are rowed.” Vasco bristled.

“I know.” Alexis said with a self-satisfied smirk.

Vasco crossed his arms across his chest. “But yes- had the Captain wished to push relations with the Congregation to breaking point they’d have had the right to claim you a recruit.”

Alexis sat up, head still spinning but eyes surprisingly sharp as he looked towards Vasco. “I’d have liked to meet you as a fellow Naut. To be friends… crew-mates?”

“We are friends, Alexis.” Vasco replied steadily. Alexis smiled. He reached a hand out absently, brushing against Vasco’s wrist.

“Yes…” Alexis’ eyes softened with an indistinct sadness. Vasco took his hand gently in his own. Alexis didn’t withdraw from the touch. “We’ll still be friends- won’t we? When you set sail, we’ll still have that?”

Vasco looked down at those sad eyes with confusion. “Of course… though, I’ll be ashore a while yet, I‘m sure.”

Alexis looked at their hands oddly, like he didn’t fully recognise his own limbs. He slowly turned Vasco’s hand over, running his thumb over the rough patches of the palm.

“You’ve reasserted your loyalty… Is Cabral not satisfied to reinstate you-?” Alexis’ voice was uncertain, fearful of voicing the questions he wished, fearful even of meeting Vasco’s eyes.

“No, the Admiral has forgiven me.” Vasco replied, his free hand brushing one of the newer tattoos on his cheek absently, pride tinging his voice a touch. “She decided it earned recording with a tattoo.”

Alexis looked up, hazel eyes swimming with a mixture of emotions, all difficult to name and yet plain enough to see. He swallowed and asked carefully: “So, do you intend to set sail again?”

Vasco’s heart clenched at the look on Alexis’ face. He entwined their fingers and closed his hand around Alexis’ softer one.

“Without a doubt- but do not worry. I will not leave you before I find out where our story leads.”

Alexis’ gaze fell back down to their hands. For all his trained diplomatic skill, his voice was soft and his grip tightened just slightly around Vasco’s hand in his anxiousness.

“I hope that once this is all this is over…if you-?” He struggled. “I hope I will get to sail with you again.”

Vasco squeezed Alexis’ hand in soft reassurance. He swallowed down any nervousness behind his own words. One hand still enfolded with De Sardet’s, he placed the other on the Legate’s jaw, bending at one knee to lower himself so their faces were level. Fingers under his lightly stubbled chin, he gentle raised Alexis’ gaze back up to meet his own.

Here, in the dull light and more exposed than Vasco had ever seen him, with his wide dark eyes and pulling his lip between his teeth, Alexis looked like he feared far more than Vasco hitting him.

“I hope so too.” Vasco said softly, letting his hand trail up Alexis’ face to cup his warm cheek; he heard the catch in his breath. “To be truthful… I’d rather not leave these shores without you.”

Alexis held his breath, eyes fixed on Vasco’s face in front of him: his eyes silver in the dull light, flecked gold were the firelight caught them; the lines of ink that extended the side of each eye; the hint of kohl on the eye lids, smudged through the day; the glimmer of the gold rings in his ears; the arch of his brow; the line of his jaw; the curve of his cheekbones set perfectly with the tattoos; the shape of his mouth and the flesh of his lips… all so beautiful, so enrapturing, and so undeniably Naut.

Alexis grasped helplessly for words: “Vasco… I’ve- I haven’t-”

Maybe it was the alcohol dulling his senses. Maybe it was the words still buffeting about his skull to _Make a damned move._ Maybe it was the sound of De Sardet’s singing hours before running through him too, self conscious smile fading into a mournful beauty. Maybe it was just the proximity of his wonderfully pretty face…

Most likely it was for all these reasons that Vasco curled his hand around the back of Alexis’ neck and kissed him. It was soft, lingering though chaste. Alexis’ heart seized still a second and then almost slammed into his ribcage. Vasco drew back, standing up properly and going to step away.

And in a surge Alexis was on his feet, arms around Vasco’s shoulders, kissing him fiercely.

Vasco was stunned a moment, before responding in kind, holding the back of Alexis’ neck and letting his other hand find the curve of his spine. Lips parted and tongues met, ill coordinated and wonderfully entangled. Vasco tasted of rum and the smell of sea salt that clung to his coat insistently and seem to tinge the rest of his clothes, mingling with scent the gunpowder on his fingers. Alexis pushed himself onto his toes, wrapping his arms tighter about Vasco’s neck as they pulled each other closer.

Alexis stepped backwards, the back of his thighs meeting the bed again, pulling Vasco with him. Everything in Alexis’ mind and body was energy and desperation, edged with anxious need- he could ride that wave, let the storm slam through him and hold for dear life and pray he might cling strongly enough. He had tried before, and it hadn’t worked; the bodies he’d tried to grasp hold of had always blown away on the next winds. But he could hope. He could push outwards with all that energy, sink it into someone, and pull back on that man’s body with the doomed idea he might just reach outwards enough as well to pull back in kind.

He kissed Vasco with a fervour that pulled in… he assaulted the Naut’s tongue, bit at his lower lip, tugged at his neck- all designed to make Vasco attack his own mouth, nip at his own lip, put his weight over him. Alexis’ hands fell back against the bed, head sinking into the plush blanket, Vasco’s mouth on his. Alexis moaned at the feel of the man straddling his hips, the heat and tension of a body against his-

Vasco pulled back.

Panic flooded Alexis’ senses for a moment. He exhaled, noted how Vasco drew away slowly, pupils blown out and gaze heated; how he did not jerk away in regret or disgust, instead he breathed shakily and pulled himself slowly away.

“You’re… quite drunk, Alexis…” He said, self consciousness seeping into his expression.

He no more wanted to give up the taste of Alexis’ mouth than Alexis wanted to give up his. However, Vasco pushed himself off the bed, leaving Alexis to lie for a stunned moment. His eyes opened to spark with concern, then embarrassment. He sat up hurriedly, aware of his head swimming as he did so.

“I’m sorry-” he started.

“Easy…” Vasco smiled sweetly. “We’re both of us more than a few sheets to the wind I think.”

More anxieties only flooded Alexis’ head: was Vasco embarrassed, or even disgusted by him? Did he think himself taking advantage of a helpless, lightweight noble boy? Was Alexis forcing his advances on Vasco? Would he ever look Alexis in the eyes again?

Vasco placed a hand on Alexis’ cheek. The stream of fears running through Alexis’ mind at rapid pace dulled a little but did not cease. Vasco found it harder to meet Alexis’ eyes, not sure what to say. The nervousness that seized him and left him struggling for reassuring words was itself oddly consoling. They were both stumbling.

“I don’t mean I didn’t…” Vasco tried. “That is… I very much wanted to kiss you- I’ve been wanting to…”

Alexis’ heart pounded. He swallowed and it felt like a stone was lodged in his throat. Inhaling shakily, he bravely captured the Naut’s gaze, neither of them giving into the fear that made them want to avoid eye contact. They were both drunk, but perhaps they were both honest now, undefended.

“I… I’ve wanted that too.” Alexis murmured. No part of him recognisable as the bold political force he was elsewhere. “I’ve tried to push you away- been trying to. I’m sorry it was… I was cowardly…”

“You’re no coward, your Excellency…” There was a hint of a smirk pulling at the corner of Vasco’s lips. “And you don’t need to fear me.”

“I don’t.” Alexis breathed quickly, concerned Vasco might think he did.

“A man like you…” Vasco’s voice grew softer; he stroked his thumb across Alexis’ cheek. “Like a tempest’s eye- you needn’t fear much, you know?”

Vasco wasn’t so far from his sense to not have felt Alexis’ desperate energy when they’d kissed. He wanted Alexis. Alexis wanted him. They could so easily both yield to that- And gods or seas or spirits and all be damned but did Vasco want to yield… to push Alexis back onto that bed, strip him of his rumbled, finely embroidered and dock-dirtied clothes and have him in the way they both wanted to the point of fucking _need-_

But he’d enough sense too, however, to feel how that drink-addled desperation tried to hide the fears. Alexis was afraid. If not of Vasco himself, then at least of wanting him… maybe even of caring for him. Vasco crumpled the thought like paper to his chest. Alexis De Sardet stares up at him with a hundred emotions in his eyes. Vasco wasn’t so drunk not to realise this lad was more than someone he wanted to fuck in haze of rum and desire. He was just drunk enough to realise how far gone he was on this man.

“I think this is worth more than a drunken roll we half remember.” Vasco said. “Don’t think that means I don’t want you… just-”

Alexis nodded silently, reaching for Vasco’s hand and pulling it gentle from his face. He understood. He both hoped and feared what this meant now; or tomorrow, or whenever they faced each other in the light of day and sobriety. Both rejection and the implications of the feeling that might be shared between them were terrifying…

Bringing Vasco’s hand to his face, Alexis brushed his lips over the knuckles with wistful sort of smile and soft murmur of: “Goodnight, Bold Captain.”

Vasco smiled in turn and leaned down to kiss him once on the lips. The tenderness made Alexis’ hands shake.

“Sleep well, Tempest.”

The bedroom door closed with a click and Alexis sat silently on his bed, head swimming.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which poetry stands in for finding the words for themselves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing given recent events (both global pandemics and personal) had been like drawing blood from the proverbial stone, but I managed to find some words to keep our boys on their way. The poem is of course the one from the game, which is a translation of 'et la mer et l'amour' by Pierre de Marbeuf.  
> Neither of these boys are great at putting words to their feelings but they work it out. Rating is upped as of this chapter for explicit sexual content. Also I enjoy the various fanon ideas that Naut body piercings are a thing and have decided to roll with it (as does De Sardet x)

Vasco’s taste for literature had surprised De Sardet in much the same way his own mannerisms surprised the Captain. It seemed unusual for a Naut to be found with a well read edition of poems in their hands… most _could_ read, of course. Naut youths were taught their numbers and letters generally, it was needed for record keeping if nothing else. Few Nauts, however, were the bookish type. Alexis would be lying if he said, weeks ago, when he first saw Vasco relaxed by the sitting room fire, engrossed in a small hardback, he wasn’t entirely charmed.

It had taken Vasco a moment or two to notice De Sardet’s presence, but the slight self consciousness that came to his eyes on doing so only increased the appeal of the scene. He’d asked about the book: a favourite novel Vasco had read years ago and enjoyed revisiting.

“You’re partial to literature then?”

“I suppose… I rarely read novels, to be truthful. I don’t often have the time.” Vasco had replied. “I’ve more taste for poetry, actually.”

“I see…” Alexis’ eyes brightened with interest. “I’ve always enjoyed poetry. Do you have a favourite?”

Vasco was caught off guard by the question.

“I… I couldn’t really think of one, your Excellency.”

That had been the end of the exchange. Alexis had still been uncertain of the Naut’s animosity towards him. Now, weeks and some embarrassing drunkenness later, he was not much surer.

As their party travelled to Hikmet, an air of tension hung between the Legate and his Naut companion. It wasn’t exactly the sort of uncomfortable energy that tended to follow a rejected drunken propositioning- Alexis tried to reassure himself that wasn’t what had happened. He hadn’t got blind drunk and tried to jump a man who was disgusted by him- Vasco had said he wanted… _something_ , as much as Alexis did, no?

The party took a moment to rest beside the road as they traveled. Vasco seemed distracted, then awkward. He silently ran his gaze over the horizon, taking in Siora and Kurt busy setting a small fire a ways off- in part reassuring himself they were not paying he and De Sardet much mind. Alexis finished checking the supplies in his pack and turned to catch the Naut looking towards him with an odd intensity. He inclined his head in question, expecting Vasco to speak. The Naut’s gaze quickly swept down to his boots, then seemed to linger on his folded hands. He hesitated long enough for De Sardet to assume he did not in fact have anything he wished to say to him.

Vasco swallowed.

_“-Sea and love both share a bitter bite._

_The sea seizes and love seizes,”_

Vasco knotted his fingers together, willing himself to look Alexis in the eyes when he looked up at him in confusion.

_“Love scalds us and the sea scalds us_

_For neither are free from tempest might…”_

“What -? Pardon me, I uh-” Alexis was struck quite dumb. “A poem?”

“Yes…one I read and was trying to remember… that is, since you asked for a favourite? I still don’t have one, exactly, but… this one— It makes me think of you…of us.” Vasco explained.

Alexis only looked at him, unsure how to respond. Vasco steeled himself for rejection in the same thought as letting the promise in their past exchanges give him the hope to try… he brushed his gloved fingers against Alexis’, gaze downcast again, loosing the bravery to meet the hazel of the other man’s eyes.

“I…Would you like to spend some time alone with me?”

Alexis took hold of Vasco’s hand. If the Naut noticed how the long, delicate fingers shook slightly against the leather of his own gloved palm, he did not remark on it. Instead, he focused on keeping his own breathing steady, hardening himself to what he was sure was coming. He threw out the best he could offer, like a fraying rope from a sinking vessel, hoping it would be grasped, but prepared for the inevitable snap. He wished he could be bolder, but this was open enough. De Sardet could at least give him some closure in rejecting-

“Yes.” Alexis breathed.

Vasco wasn’t sure if he had heard what he thought. He wasn’t sure if he was awake and not imagining this whole exchange.

“With pleasure, yes.” Alexis looked up, eyes burning into Vasco’s, voice barely above a whisper, resisting the urge to openly squirm as he grasped for words. “I- if you wish… when we reach town, if you’d like we… that is – you’d be welcome to meet me in my room when we’re back in the city...if you…”

Alexis’ nerve failed him, his gaze all but skittering about. He caught himself furtively glancing towards were Kurt and Siora where busying themselves, sure they could not hear either of their soft words, nor were they paying any mind to the grasping of their hands…

Vasco squeezed Alexis’ palm softly before releasing it. He tempered his own voice into soft affirmation. “I will be there, Tempest.”

* * *

They enjoyed a quite exceedingly uncomfortable dinner at the invitation of the Hikmet Governor. He seemed anxious to smooth the edges of De Sardet’s growing irritation with what was at its very best blindness to corruption in his highest-ranking officials. At its worst Alexis feared active complicity in the schemes of the despicable Asili.

Vasco managed to roll his eyes just out of the line of sight of the jabbering courtier Alexis’ patience was currently being worn thin by… He caught Alexis looking at him and the smile he gave him set the Legate’s heart beating like a drum.

“- don’t you agree, Excellency?” The expectant noble at Alexis’ side snapped his attention back. It had been wandering some time. He blinked.

“I… my apologies Sir Cleon, but what was the question?” Alexis said carefully. “Forgive my absence of mind, I have… been on the road for too many hours today.”

The look on Vasco’s face told Alexis he had indeed noticed all of that, and yes, he was more than slightly amused.

Sitting across the grand dinning table later, Vasco saw Alexis wave his delicate hand over the top of his empty wine glass as a servant went to pour. The governor, seated at the head of the table to De Sardet’s right raised his brow…

“As lovely as I am sure the vintage is, Governor Burhan, I tend to abstain after travel.” De Sardet smiled a careful, diplomat’s smile. “Good wine can go straight to my head, I’m afraid.”

The Governor waved off Alexis’ concern, rambling off something about the fine quality of Alliance grapes to De Sardet’s polite agreement. He ended up with half a glass of rich, red wine besides him that he sipped sparingly at for the rest of the meal.

“- I may have need of all my faculties yet this evening.” Vasco caught the end of Alexis’ remarks, the last words said with the barest hint of a smile aimed consciously towards the Naut. There was a slight glimmer in his hazel eyes; the curve of his mouth had an edge that didn’t belong to the noble niceties he layered himself with in present company… Alexis reached for his glass and his fingers twitched almost imperceptibly, his brow softening with the smallest air of nervousness- Vasco’s chest swelled to know it was for him.

He wasn’t usually one to fall for the charm of the whole shy and shrinking thing, but… well, De Sardet was a strange sort, after all.

The softness at the edges of his measured control, betrayed a genuine concern at his core, the distinctly human vulnerability. And there was something undeniably warm in that: in seeing through the layers of someone like De Sardet, of being in on the message behind a look or a smile or a gesture that even the man himself might not fully know.

Alexis had felt flustered under a man’s advances before, certainly. But he had never felt this sort of fluttering intensity. Impossibly light and undeniably weighty at the same time. He was not yet quite able to let his anxious mind stumble over the last precipice needed to put words to that feeling… but he could say he wanted very desperately to be alone with Vasco.

Dinner passed by blessedly quickly. Then came more noble nicety; moving to drawing rooms and studies and different hallways in a complex dance of etiquette dry as sand. Alexis dodged several offered drinks artfully. Cigars were passed under Vasco’s scrunched nose. Alexis caught the Captain’s remark on his distaste for ‘flavours finer’ than the occasional smoke of the coarse leaf stuffed into sailors pipes. Vasco knew the mutter of distain that passed between some of these upper classes at what he was sure they perceived as mockery. He gave not an ounce of a fuck. The gloriously Naut defiance on his face for a moment set Alexis’ heart skipping.

But it was the sparkle in his expression as he bowed to the Governor and excused himself that made a whole other warmth blossom in Alexis’ stomach: that promise and teasing and kindness and everything that was so entirely Vasco.

Alexis watched Vasco leave. Listening to the soft thumps of his boots on the staircase on the other side of the wall distracted him from another question directed at him. Alexis had to silently shake himself. He could contend with another hour of this. One more and he could depart politely without drawing remark. Then he could return to his apartments. Then he could go up to his own room and- if he was lucky and blessed and deserving- he might find his Captain waiting still.

* * *

Alexis paused in front of his bedroom. The door was closed. He had left it ajar with a far too significant moment of consideration when he’d left that afternoon. It having been closed could simply indicate the house-servant sent over from the Governor’s palace had been in to light the fire and check the sheets… though Alexis knew any half-way trained member of staff would know to leave the door as found. Pushing the speculation aside, he opened the door.

Even as he let himself hope, the sight of Vasco, sitting a little stiffly at the desk across the room, made Alexis’ breath catch.

Vasco was on his feet the moment he heard the door. He’d removed his hat and placed it on the desk. His coat was draped over the back of the chair, his shirt-sleeves rolled up to the elbow to reveal the browned skin of his tattooed forearms in the lingering glow of the late evening light.

“De Sardet, I hope I’m not imposing.” Vasco said awkwardly. “I can…”

He took a few steps towards the door. Alexis closed the remaining distance and placed a hand on Vasco’s arm.

“You are welcome to stay, Captain.” He looked up into Vasco’s golden eyes.

“Would you still like to… spend some time with me?” Vasco asked hesitantly.

There was barely an inch between their bodies. They could both feel the heat radiating off the other. The air was strangely heavy, thick with the tension they both feared to shatter. Alexis’ hand on Vasco’s arm was a smouldering heat. He would swear he could feel the concentrated energy of the storm within De Sardet’s small frame…

No. No they had done desperation. This was not that.

Alexis drew in a steadying breath, running his hand down Vasco’s wrist to intertwine their ungloved fingers. He tilted his head up. Vasco met him halfway and they held each other’s gaze and the tension seemed to slide back and recede as Alexis smiled.

“More than ever.”

Neither of them was sure who moved to close the distance first, only that they were kissing, mouths meeting warm, slowly, even tender… they melted together, hands brushing over clothing, through hair, against skin.

Vasco’s calloused fingers ran gently over Alexis’ cheek and down his jaw, making him sigh into the kiss, his hands curling into the fabric of Vasco’s shirt. In response to the warmth of Alexis’ grip, Vasco’s other hand pressed against his spine and pulled his body flush against his own. Alexis gasped softly. Vasco drew back, pressing chaste kisses to the corner of De Sardet’s mouth and across his cheek as he did.

Vasco carefully pushed a curl of auburn hair back from Alexis’ brow. Fingers brushed over the curve of his ear and down his jaw, gaze once more burning into Alexis’ own and making the back of the Legate’s neck prickle into gooseflesh.

“And what, exactly, would you care to do with the time?” Vasco’s lips curled into a smirk.

Alexis’ cheeks coloured a little as he smiled in reply. Rather than stumble over words any further he pulled Vasco by the arm and towards his bed. Alexis barely had to nudge the taller man to have him happily tumble onto the plush mattress. Vasco’s hands reached for Alexis’ waist but he playfully and unceremoniously swatted them away to unfasten his own jacket. A chuckle rolled from Vasco’s chest as Alexis struggled with the sleeves, getting caught on his shirt and shaking his arm to remove it before he triumphantly threw the fine garment across the floor.

“Better?” Vasco quirked an eyebrow.

Alexis repositioned himself above Vasco, hands planting either side of the Naut’s head. Vasco’s own hands reached Alexis’ waist successfully this time, incredibly warm through the thin cotton of his shirt. Lips ghosting against Vasco’s he smiled to himself.

“Much.” He replied before kissing the Naut’s warm mouth.

Vasco’s lips parted easily, tongue sliding against Alexis’. The kiss deepened. Vasco pulled Alexis’ shirt untucked from his trousers to let his hands skim over the hem of the garment, running his fingers underneath to brush the flesh of Alexis’ abdomen. Alexis nipped at Vasco’s lip, earning him a soft grunt and tightened grip clutching at his hipbones. Alexis moaned appreciatively into the kiss as Vasco pulled him flush against his body. There was a roll and drag of hips, making Alexis arms shake under him at the sensation of his half-hard cock brushing the Naut’s. Another, unintentional, jarred motion drew a groan from Alexis, breaking off their kiss as his arms gave out altogether, pressing his weight entirely into Vasco’s body.

Another, more muffled chuckle rolled from Vasco’s chest. He held Alexis still and canted his own hips deliberately upwards, smirking at the strangled sound the other man made. He felt the twitch of the muscles of Alexis’ thighs, his hips jerked slightly involuntarily. Vasco’s grip loosened again into a gentle brush as his hands slid slowly downwards. Alexis’ breath was hot against Vasco’s neck as he rocked his hips against the Naut underneath him, too distracted by the building sensation to let the embarrassment of rutting his clothed dick against the other man like a desperate teenager seize him too much.

Vasco’s hands were skimming over the curve of Alexis’ arse. The Legate responded with hot lips on his tattooed neck, pressing open mouthed kisses to his warm flesh. Encouraged, Vasco gave the round and wonderfully tautly muscled curve of Alexis’ buttocks a softly playful squeeze.

“Ahh-” a brief exclamation rang in surprisingly high pitch from the Legate.

Vasco’s hands moved to rest on his waist once more, granting a moment of reprieve as he ask with no small amount of enjoyment: “Are these positive noises, De Sardet?”

Alexis hummed in agreement. Vasco smiled and traced a lazy pattern with his fingers over Alexis’ back.

“What was that, Excellency?” The Naut teased.

“Hrgh…” Alexis grumbled slightly, still grinding his cock against Vasco’s.

Vasco drew his hands away, leaving an unpleasant absence in their wake and etching a scowl onto Alexis’ face. The expression only deepened when the Naut gripped Alexis’ hips to halt his movements altogether. The Legate pushed himself upwards to openly glare down at the man beneath him. Vasco’s enjoyment of this frustration was written across his tattooed face, which disgruntled Alexis further.

He had not expected such wonderful petulance from the well-mannered De Sardet. It was altogether too much. And yet all he found himself wanting to do was continue this teasing of the charmingly irritated Alexis De Sardet.

“For a trained diplomat, you aren’t doing too well with your words are ya lad?” Vasco drawled.

Alexis flushed a deeper red. “Maybe you’re just doing well at distracting me…” He meant for it to be a rebuttal but it fell limp entirely.

Vasco stroked Alexis’ cheek, brushing over the birthmark on his jaw.

“At teasing you perhaps…” the somewhat wicked smile on Vasco’s face softened into a gentler one. “Only because you look so lovely when you’re flustered- though if you aren’t enjoying yourself I can stop-”

“Don’t you bloody dare.” Alexis cut him off, grinning despite himself.

Vasco’s chuckle rang through the room like a chiming bell. “Seas… you will be the death of me.”

Alexis used the release of Vasco’s hold to roll his hips deliberately against his cock. “Far from my intent, Captain.”

Vasco’s eyes closed a moment as he let out a soft moan. His hands found Alexis’ hips again, but rather than halt them, he guided the smaller man’s motion to grind their cocks together through their clothes. Alexis gasped and exhaled shakily.

“Is it now?” Vasco replied, tone sly and smooth.

He didn’t give Alexis time to retort before he used the leverage he had on his hips to roll Alexis onto his back. The humour sparkled in both their eyes as Vasco straddled De Sardet. He pressed kisses against Alexis’ mouth, jaw and neck. Vasco’s hands ran underneath Alexis’ shirt, bunching the fabric upwards as he traced the planes of De Sardet’s torso. Alexis hummed contentedly at the feel of the calloused Naut’s hands, sighing when warm fingers brushed the surprisingly sensitive flesh of his nipples. Vasco’s lips followed the path of his hands, continuing the trail of teasingly hot kisses of from Alexis’ neck, past the bundled fabric of his shirt, over his chest and abdomen.

His teeth nipped just barely at one tawny-pink nipple. Alexis hissed in a tone that spoke of pleasure, surprise and barely an ounce of discomfort, which was quickly soothed by a roll of a gentle tongue…Vasco continued his path down Alexis’ abdomen.

“How does this square up to your intentions, then?” Vasco’s teasing voice rasped straight through Alexis’ core.

Alexis whined as Vasco’s teeth and tongue continued their assault of his flesh. His cock twitched. He was quite sure Vasco noticed. He was embarrassingly hard and had to restrain himself from squirming like a desperate teenager. Vasco’s mouth lingering half an inch above the line of his trousers hanging about his hips only made that restraint harder… not to mention Alexis himself. His hand gripped Vasco’s hair-

“… more the- urgh…” Alexis’ voice strained and cracked against itself as he swallowed another whimpering noise. “More fantasy than- intent…”

The buttons that fastened Alexis’ trousers were released by nimble fingers. Through the fabric of his small clothes, the heat of Vasco’s mouth pressed against the head of of Alexis’ cock. Barely a breath of contact had him bucking upwards, the wet heat of tongue saw his back arching sharply. Vasco planted his palms on Alexis’ narrow hips, pushing them gently down into the plush bedclothes. He drew back, the grin De Sardet was met by on the Captain’s face was sinfully self-satisfied.

“Easy lad…” Vasco’s voice rumbled.

Alexis felt the flush on his face. Stars, anyone would think he was a virginal shut-in being touched for the first time from the way he was responding. The thought that Vasco might in fact think him such made the embarrassed flush spread down his chest. His breathing grew harsher, pulse rising and head swimming.

Vasco’s pleased look dissipated, softening into one of concern as he pulled back. Alexis was struck by a disorientating wave of déjà vu. At least this time he was sober…

“Alright there, Alexis? I can practically hear ya’ heart pounding out your ribs.” The teasing fell out of Vasco’s voice, though the warmth remained in full.

Alexis swallowed the lump in his throat, shifting backwards in the bed and trying to prop himself into a more seated position against the pillows. His hand flew unthinkingly to clutch at his chest.

“I’m fine.” He said in a rush, cursing himself and the burning of his cheeks. Vasco knelt in front of him, golden eyes piercing in a way he seemed utterly oblivious to. “- _shit_. Much more than fine- I… that is- _fuck…_ I mean-”

Vasco placed a steadying palm on De Sardet’s thigh. The weight of it like dropping anchor in a gale- reassurance. Calm, even if momentary.

Alexis breathed slowly, let the pounding of his heart grow duller.

“Forgive me…” He sighed, flashing a self-deprecating smile. “Fuck… I swear I’m not half the anxious innocent I might seem…”

Vasco’s concern was lessened by the ease returning to Alexis’ voice, but he didn’t intend to let De Sardet dismiss it offhandedly. He got the sense Alexis was trying to let a touch of bravado cover for insecurities… Almost as if he were trying too hard. Were this a different time and place altogether, and De Sardet just a pretty stranger he was taking to bed, he might just take the cue. He might indulge the playful urge to mock the curses that had sprung from that delicate mouth, more fitting a sailor than a blue-blooded young man; dress him down for how the words didn’t fit him, like the growling of a little pup who hadn’t grown into his teeth, trying to play the confident wolf.

Expect Alexis wasn’t any of that. He was a skilled diplomat. A master of his own mind and his words and a thousand things besides. But whatever role he seemed to be trying to fill here wasn’t one of them. He was trying to keep a hold of things and himself but the act overwhelmed him…

“I don’t take you for some fainting damsel,” Vasco squeezed Alexis’ thigh in reassurance. “Not that I would think less of you for nervousness, Tempest… Seas know my hands have been sweating all evening worrying about making a fool of myself-”

Alexis looked away, chuckling out an awkward laugh.

“I wouldn’t worry, I’m far too occupied with my own embarrassment to notice if you did.” Alexis said, more scolding himself than much else.

He looked back at Vasco and was met with an expression of disarming tenderness. Vasco’s gaze swept over the form of the Legate, properly catching the scar visible where his shirt was hiked up above his abdomen. It wasn’t the only mark on his honied skin, of course. Aside from the fetching patches of freckles, he had some noticeable scars from training exercises and more recent battle. Plenty for a noble’s smooth skin, to be sure. But that stretch of flesh, healed unevenly in taut white and pinkish puckering shapes a hand’s width big, reaching from just above his navel in a vague slash off to the right side of his abdominal muscles… it drew Vasco’s attention now where he had quite blindly rained kisses and touches down earlier, wilfully ignoring the thoughts that it might bring forward-

The image swam up of Alexis loosing his footing on the silt and sand, the creature from the beached Naut vessel striking him viscously. There was a darker, angrier swirl of scar tissue were the sharp point of the whip-like tendril had pierced deepest into his side. The flesh curved in that odd way wounds closed by healing magic rather than surgeon’s stitches sometimes did. The desperate second of emotion that had hammered through Vasco in that moment, when he saw the shock of pain slam into Alexis’ body, blossomed into being anew. He remembered exactly how it had felt to have De Sardet shrug off his help and put space between them even as he struggled to stay upright. But more than that, he remembered every part of that split second of wild fear and worry and guilt and regret and rage when he’d seen Alexis take that hit. It was probably the most significant wound he’d ever witnessed that body take: that small body, muscled and taut and skilled but horribly, awfully fragile and so damned small and-

He knew De Sardet wasn’t slight or frail. Wasn’t easily knocked. But damn had he seemed so intensely, overtly breakable in that one moment…

Vasco’s hand left Alexis’ thigh to run gingerly over the scared flesh. Alexis exhaled in a sigh. The air between the pair shifted altogether, growing heavier and oddly more intense.

“Vasco…” Alexis breathed. “I… I uhh…”

“-You know, De Sardet…” Vasco looked straight into- or even right through- the Legate’s hazel eyes, “you needn’t play whatever part you seem to think you should be here.”

Alexis blinked dumbly.

“I don’t uhh- you…” he stammered. “W-what do you mean?”

Vasco’s palm presses flat over the scarring.

“I want you, De Sar- _Alexis_.” Vasco said, voice low and weighty. “Any and all of you that you would offer… and you don’t need to flatter my vanity or… convince me-”

Vasco lost the train of his words. He knew what he was trying to say. He hoped Alexis was at least somewhat able to infer it too-

“I...I’ve…” Alexis bit his lip. His voice softer and rawer than Vasco had ever heard it- “The men I’ve been with have always… it’s always been something… _distasteful_ to them. They needed me to be something- something under their power enough…”

The sympathy in Vasco’s eyes was like a dagger to the ribs. “Alexis...”

“I’m not asking for your pity. I was young, I didn’t much know myself- I wanted to be wanted, like any boy, and I was willing to be what I had to…”

“You don’t _have_ to be anything.” Vasco brushed his fingers over Alexis’ cheek, softly ghosting them over his birthmark. He smiled, small and meaningful. “I’d flatter myself enough to believe I know you, Alexis…there’s no trick or charm here. Only you, yourself...”

Vasco’s sealed the thought with a kiss to Alexis’ parted lips.

“You’re beautiful, you know?” Vasco’s voice was a low whisper, and the ring of the words and the touch and the feeling and knowledge that the words meant more than just admitting attraction to Alexis’ face or his body- though Vasco needn’t ‘admit’ that truth like he had any shame in it- but he wasn’t just talking about that… and by hells but it melted De Sardet to his very core.

Alexis raised himself up to Vasco’s eye level, leaving them kneeling on the bed clothes, not daring for a moment to break the silence. When he did speak, Alexis’ voice cracked against his throat: so damned small and horribly bare to his own ears. He tried to smile through it, but was left with only a half-hearted smirking, self-deprecation.

“If I didn’t believe you know me better than I care to admit, I’d try to refute that declaration.”

“Then we are both lucky I do, Tempest,” Vasco’s smile and the humour in his golden eyes warmed Alexis through and through, “because I shan’t hear any argument on it.”

Alexis wrapped his arms around Vasco’s neck and kissed him, slow and heated – impassioned but unrushed. Much of the anxiety of the past moments slipped away into the ease of their fluid embrace. Hands wandered each other’s skin, dragging trails of gooseflesh. Soft mouths and tongues tasted deeply.

Blissful minutes later, he dragged himself away from the taste of sea salt and spice and every unnamable flavour of Vasco- enduring the absence just long enough to pull off the Naut’s shirt, before leaning in to drink up the taste of him for a few moments more. His palms ran over the sharp edges of shoulders and collarbone, feeling the slightly raised pattern of tattoos that he had traced by eye in sidelong gazes in their camps that lingered a few moments more than Alexis ever intended. His fingers brushed metal he had caught only in glimpses before. He drew back to take in the sight fully.

The bars of gold through each of Vasco’s light brown nipples, framed as they were by the arching lines of ink, were more fetching than anything Alexis had seen before. His palm pressed flat against the lines that adorned Vasco’s left breast. The curves seemed to echo waves in an abstract way, crashing against the strong body. The effect was overall enrapturing to the young diplomat. The artistry in the dark ink and golden adornments was undeniable. Yet this was hardly a body of vanity- every tattoo, scar, muscle and callous: every mark the sun and the sea and hard work had left upon Vasco- they were all earned and worn with a pride beyond the understanding of any handsome, self-absorbed noble Alexis had known before… He realised he had perhaps been staring and snapped his gaze back to Vasco’s amused eyes. Alexis blushed again, though seemed not to shrink nearly as much as he had before.

“’Beautiful’ seems an unfit word…but I’ve none better.” Alexis remarked, eyes sparkling, playful and with a wonderful streak of boldness. “If you’ll forgive my staring…”

The Naut seemed to open his mouth for some quip or other, then think better of it… Alexis, distracted again, took one metal bar between thumb and forefinger. Vasco exhaled a sort of mix between a hum and a warm chuckle. Encouraged, Alexis replaced his hand with his mouth, tongue flicking out to toy with the piercing. Curiously, his teeth nipped lightly at the point metal joined flesh. Vasco made a contented noise at the back of his throat. Alexis drew back, smiling up at him with hooded eyes gleaming.

Seas, De Sardet was certainly something… Vasco cleared his throat.

“Incidentally…I should perhaps mention those aren’t the only ones I have.” Alexis gaze flashed over the pair of rings in one of Vasco’s ears... “- no, not those.”

Vasco smirked to himself, watching Alexis’ eyebrows shift and letting him consider the remark… He thought he might have felt… His hazel eyes widened, and gaze shot downwards for a second before he caught himself. Vasco’s expression told him he was on the right mark and his blush deepened.

“Well…you have me intrigued now.” Alexis remarked.

His hands slid down with his roving gaze, setting to the ties of Vasco’s pants. They had slipped off his hips before the Naut’s hands caught the fabric of Alexis’ shirt.

“And _you_ have me at a disadvantage, your Excellency…” Vasco drawled.

Alexis’ hands dropped. In a moment he was standing beside the bed. Vasco’s heart slammed into his throat, worried his teasing had struck on raw nerves- damning his barbed tongue and letting distain for nobility get the better-

The glorious look Alexis shot him stopped the panic in its tracks. His lips were set in a tight, lopsided curve, eyes alight in playful challenge. Without looking away from Vasco’s bemused face, Alexis pulled off his shirt. Kicking aside his boots with relative ease, he stepped out of his trousers. He didn’t try to smooth out the intensity of his own desire, nor did he conceal any of his self-consciousness. Instead, he removed the last of his clothing and closed the distance between his and Vasco’s bodies once more-

Bold, vulnerable and unashamed.

Vasco simply had no words, could only kissed him with a fervour. And that he did. Rolling De Sardet easily onto his back, he ran open mouthed kisses from his lips, down his neck. Alexis moaned openly as Vasco closed his teeth over the junction of his neck and shoulder, quickly soothing away the indiscretion with a soft tongue. He continued his path down Alexis’ torso…

This time his mouth lingered over the scarring by his navel. The heat did not fade, but the roll of lips and tongue slowed, tenderly showering attention onto Alexis’ body.

Alexis’ fingers ran through Vasco’s hair. The tie fell away, careful hands carding through the smooth strands, relishing the feel and rare sight of the Captain with his hair free. The unhurried passion had dozens of ideas almost reaching Alexis’ lips- so many things he found himself wanting to tell the man whose breath against his skin set him alight. He couldn’t find a single word though.

Words scattered altogether as Vasco’s lips pressed against the tip of Alexis’ cock. His grip closed around the Naut’s hair, grasping loosely at the root. Vasco took Alexis’ erection into his mouth, running his tongue quite expertly over the shaft. Alexis moaned loud enough to make Vasco’s own dick twitch. He swallowed Alexis’ length right to the back of his throat, earning another yet more brazen moan.

Vasco drew back, swirling his tongue briefly over his head, before sliding back down again. Alexis keened, hips bucking upwards unchecked and nearly choking the Naut. Vasco recovered easily, but Alexis still blanched at the slight gag he covered with a cough.

“Fuck, _sorry_!” Alexis’ eyes flashed.

Vasco drew back, setting his calloused hands on Alexis’ hips. “It’s quite alright. I’m a little out of practise I think…”

Alexis was too preoccupied to dispute this, but he certainty hadn’t been inclined to question Vasco’s skill here- quite the opposite.

“Would you like me to-?”

“ _Gods_ \- please keep going.” Alexis whined before Vasco could even finish the question.

Vasco chuckled. Holding Alexis’ slim hips down, he started a languid rhythm. De Sardet’s grip in his hair tightened as he bobbed his head, tongue tracing the heavy vein on the underside of the Legate’s cock. He increased his pace. Alexis looked down and caught his amber gaze. The light of the day having altogether faded now, their gleam reflected the light of the fireplace and the oil lamps about the room. The intensity of the heat and desire though… that was entirely Vasco’s own, and fuck, but did it make Alexis’ heart race. His eyes screwed closed as he moaned, pitching up as Vasco’s tongue teased his slit and forming a sustained note of unabashed pleasure.

\- Vasco was _good_ at this, and it was almost too much for Alexis’ nerves to take. Almost...

One clever hand brushed the soft skin of his inner thigh. His legs parted further on sheer instinct. Knuckles grazed past his balls. Alexis’ hips twitched. His lyrical moans were cut off by a harsh gasp when the pad of Vasco’s finger pressed against his hole.

The Naut released his cock with a wet slide. Alexis’ hips arched unthinkingly against the firm hand still anchoring his right hipbone, trying to keep the stimulation even as Vasco leaned back on his haunches.

“Alexis-” Vasco’s tone was measured and serious despite the strain of his own hardness. De Sardet’s eyes opened, dark with desire and lips pink and parted by his heavy breathing. Vasco swallowed back the senselessness of lust, controlling his voice better than he feared he might.

His, “- are y’ alright lad?” still came out rough and deep.

Oh- _so very Naut,_ Alexis thought. He choked on his words and only nodded, chest rising and falling in hot panting breaths. He fumbled in a vain effort to remove the other man’s trousers, but was left to fall back helplessly onto the pillows when Vasco instead ducked his head between Alexis’ thighs. His tongue traced a searing line from the base of Alexis’ leaking cock, across the aching flesh of his balls. The Naut held Alexis’ taut inner thighs, lifting his unassuming weight so he could lave his tongue against the lad’s entrance. Alexis’ legs were over Vasco’s broad, tattooed shoulders. His ankles knotted against the other man’s back as he teased his hole, hands worn by ropes and weather and rapier grasped Alexis’ round arse cheeks, opening him up to his full attentions. De Sardet’s back arched off the bed as Vasco’s tongue darted into him before continuing to circle the tight ring of muscle.

He teased Alexis until he was practically mewling. The absolute brazenness of a man not thinking twice of putting his tongue there… it was entirely overwhelming to Alexis’ past experiences in a way Vasco couldn’t begin to know. The self satisfaction in the Naut’s wicked expression when he drew back to lock eyes with Alexis only increased the effect: the open desire in his golden eyes as his clever mouth curved upwards, lips wet and plush. Alexis’ first thought was how badly he wanted to kiss that mouth. His second was surprise at his own shamelessness in leaning forward to capture Vasco’s lips and roll his own tongue against the one that tasted of sweat and salt and sin. Breathless, he moved to press his mouth to Vasco’s neck.

“Do you have any oil or-?” Vasco asked.

In his blissful state of debauchery, it took a moment for Alexis’ mind to catch up to the question. “I uhh- yes... The side table. Top drawer-”

The absence of the other man’s body was stark and cool. Alexis watched Vasco retrieve the desired bottle from the drawer. Lingering a moment on the thought, he placed it on the small table to slip out of his trousers and undergarments. Alexis’ gaze drank in every detail of the Naut’s firm arse. Then Vasco turned back towards the bed to be met by De Sardet openly staring at his cock, hazel eyes gleaming: all excitement and want and need, with maybe just a hint of trepidation.

“Something wrong, lad?” Vasco teased cloyingly.

“Perfection.” Alexis murmured by way of reply, still eyeing Vasco’s none-too-modest cock, admiring the visible ball-bearing fixtures on either side of the golden bar that ran through the head.

A laugh rumbled from Vasco’s chest. He moved to rejoin Alexis on the bed, noting how his legs parted easily, reaching towards the other man. He drew the Naut in like a wanton siren…

His hazel eyes burned into Vasco as he watched the Naut unstopper the bottle of oil, staring enraptured at the slick pouring over his dexterous fingers. He inhaled sharply when the calloused pad of Vasco’s index finger circled the ring of muscle at his entrance.

Their gazes locked intensely. Vasco’s brows drew down seriously-

“Alright-?” He said, letting the husky question stand in for the more eloquent- too lost in the heat of the taut but delicate body beneath him to conjure better words, but needing to check, to hear—

Alexis canted his hips forward, making the tip of Vasco’s finger breach his hole. He made a high, needy noise.

“ _Vasco…”_ he keened in a way that made the Naut’s heart skip and dick twitch- “please…”

Vasco’s oil slicked finger entered him slowly… Alexis moaned, feeling each knuckle in turn easing into his tight hole. He gazed at the focused, heated look on the other man’s face, letting the sensations overwhelm him. Vasco’s free hand ran soothingly over the flesh of Alexis’ thigh and he felt his body relax into the motion as he withdrew that first finger and pushed back into Alexis’ heat. He built a careful rhythm, watching the delicate face beneath him twist in a picture of pleasure. He waited until Alexis’ hips were rolling into his hand, trying to push harder and faster… seeking more stimulation. Pouring out a little more oil, he added a second finger. Alexis groaned at the stretch and rocked himself on Vasco’s fingers, coaxing him to pick up the pace.

“ _Seas_ you’re a fucking sight- little Tempest…” The natural rumble of Vasco’s voice was lower and rawer than ever; still, he could not hide the fondness in his tone, nor did he try to.

“ _Vasco…_ ” Alexis whined again, eyes dark and flashing somewhere between threat and revelry. “Don’t – ughh - don’t tease.”

Alexis had never seen Vasco grin so widely, or wickedly- he thrust a third finger in agonisingly slowly, making the poor lad squirm. “Oh- and what would you have me do then?”

“Fuck me.” Alexis breathed.

Vasco pressed a searing kiss to Alexis’ lips. Curling his fingers just so to brush the right nerves to have De Sardet arching his back off the bed with a gasp.

“Is that what you want, my Tempest?” The sincerity behind the drawling of lust made Alexis’ heart swell.

“Yes… Gods Vasco- Fuck me!”

In that second Alexis knew if his gorgeous Naut Captain asked him to beg he would. In fact, he realised to his own surprise, he almost wanted to… though he was sure Vasco wouldn’t ask without being certain Alexis wished it…

-He stowed the thought away for now, instead taking in the way Vasco was looking at him with enough want to drown in. He sighed at the loss of the Vasco’s fingers, but contented himself with watching enraptured as he leaned back on his knees, poured more oil into his palm. He pumped his neglected cock into his hand. Alexis hooked his calves around the Captain’s flank, urging him on with barely contained impatience.

He thanked the stars that Vasco didn’t feel the need to ask a third time.

Vasco entered him slowly… Alexis wasn’t sure if he was more concerned with drawing out the pleasure of it or avoiding his discomfort- most likely, it was both. Sheathing himself to the hilt in the almost burning heat of De Sardet’s body, he rocked forward. For a quiet moment they lay still, Vasco’s forehead dipping to rest against Alexis’, his eyes a ring of shinning gold around wide black pupils, breath hot against both their faces.

Belatedly, it dawned on Alexis that of his handful of underwhelming past experiences, no one had ever had him on his back- never looked him in the eye when—

Certainly never looked at him the way Vasco was right now- somewhere between awe and care and … and something De Sardet knew but wouldn’t dare to name. Only wore in his own expression as he gazed into those eyes.

Putting a hand to the back of Vasco’s head, he pulled him into an open-mouthed kiss. He rocked his hips upwards, willing the other man to move. He felt the drag of the piercing fixtures against his walls like a dampened lightning-bolt to his spine and gasped into Vasco’s mouth. He repeated the motion more deliberately, eliciting a low groan from the Naut, who was still doing his utmost to maintain some sense of composure, pressing his brow into the curve of De Sardet’s shoulder and breathing as slowly as he could-

“Vasco…” Alexis breathed out his name like a damned prayer.

His voice gives way to muffled moans when Vasco finally pulls back and thrusts back into him. He sets a lazy pace that soon has Alexis grinding himself back against him and if the Naut had half a mind to he could draw this out for long enough to have his beautiful diplomat senseless and desperate- he hits the right spot to make De Sardet’s hand grip his hair tightly and the pitch of his soft groans jump. Vasco feels Alexis’ inner muscles twitch around his cock and then his only thought is giving him everything and anything he wants.

And he’s thrusting into him faster and harder and Alexis’ arms wrap around him, neatly kept nails blunt against his back each time his piercing drags against his sweet spot- Vasco lifts his head back enough to watch the pretty face of his partner shift in pleasure, eyes shuttering as his head arches back. His hair a fan of dark curls beneath him as strings of half-formed words die on his lips.

He’s close and Vasco can tell. His strained voice cracks against his throat when the Naut’s hand reaches between them to wrap around his cock. Working him in time with his thrusts, it’s only a matter of moments before Alexis’ breath catches and his bright eyes flash open. His body convulses in pleasure and the tightness of it around Vasco’s cock is nearly enough to send him careening over his own edge.

Alexis’ eyes stay fixed on Vasco’s even as his vision seems to blur into a slip of gold and brown. He comes with a noise that might be a choked cry or might be Vasco’s name, and spends himself into Vasco’s palm and onto his own stomach. With a few more thrusts he feels the Naut follow quickly after, spilling into him with an unrestrained moan. They grind against each other, tongues tangling in a disorderly mess as they ride out the high together, not caring for the slick of sweat or spend or the knotting of the bedclothes about them.

Alexis collapsed back into the plush down of his pillows, boneless and blissful. Vasco pressed a last kiss to the corner of Alexis’ mouth, pulling out slowly. Alexis chose to ignore the spend that leaked out slightly onto his sheets, instead enjoying the odd sensation of a lover having cum in him, mourned the empty feeling in the wake of Vasco’s cock.

The Naut lifted himself with some effort off the bed. Alexis reached out towards him, a displeased sort of whine in his throat, much too far gone to articulate anything beyond the desire to have the other’s body next to his. Vasco smiled with amusement at the display, quickly retrieving a cloth from the wash basin across the room and returning to De Sardet’s side. He made to pass it to Alexis, only to receive another barely sensical disgruntled noise. The Legate tried to pull Vasco’s body back down to him without moving his own more than the absolute minimum. Vasco dodged the attempt easily.

“You won’t thank me for it in the morning when your expensive sheets are a soiled mess.” The Naut quipped.

Alexis only rolled his eyes and lay back pliantly enough as Vasco cleaned them both up himself, tossing the washcloth unceremoniously aside and finally settling himself beside De Sardet. He had thought to ask if the Legate cared for a partner sharing his bed after the fact- but the way he curled his smaller body against Vasco’s, head fitting easily into the curve of tattooed shoulder- he supposed that answered that. He might be inclined to mock a noble-blooded fool for being so easily turned into this softened, sleepy creature from a decent fucking; were he not acutely aware Alexis was far from noble in the ways that mattered… and were he not in fact feeling the foggy drag of exhaustion in his muscles himself. Besides, Alexis had more than earned a peaceful rest long before Vasco took him to bed.

The request of one Coinguard Captain to get the damned boy to sleep sprung back into Vasco’s mind. He had no intension of informing Kurt just how right he’d been…

He pressed his lips to the crown of De Sardet’s head, inhaling the scent of herbs and fine soap and gunpowder clinging to the mop of hair scattered about him. The delicate features curved into a beautifully calm smile.

“Do you want to hear the rest of the poem?” Vasco asked softly.

“Please,” Alexis mumbled without opening his eyes.

Stroking Alexis’ hair with a tenderness Vasco was surprised came so easily to him, he recited the second verse:

“ _-Those who fear the waters_

_should stay within the shore’s sight_

_those who fear the pain that love procures_

_should shun the flames when love endures_

_And both shall be safe from found and blight…”_

His voice faded off from its lulling sound. The only sound in the quietude was Alexis’ steady breathing and Vasco assumed for a moment he was asleep, only to be caught in the gently swimming gaze of hazel eyes.

“I think I know this poem,” Alexis said in a whisper, propping his chin against his hand to look up at Vasco’s face in the half-light of the dying lamps. “And I know how it ends…”

He picked up the lines where Vasco had left. Knowing exactly the words that were coming somehow only made the feeling behind them greater- like a shared wish between them…Hearing it felt like sealing some kind of promise neither of them knew how to paint out otherwise.

_“-For if water could quench loves dying embers_

_Your love that burns and pains and severs_

_I would douse this fire with the sea of all my tears.”_

Vasco wanted to say a great deal of things- wanted to have the words to even begin. Instead, he stroked the line of Alexis’ cheek, cupped his delicate jaw just were the mark swirled beautifully off down his neck-

“Then let us sail these seas together… my Tempest.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading- I do intend to continue this fic though I expect it will be sporadic at best. Now to go work on a pile of post-grad assignments.  
> Stay safe loves x


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Storms crashing and calm seas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW for panic attacks because Alexis has a lot going on and so do we all.

Vasco woke with a bleary awareness of his surroundings. The sunlight at the window roused him to some sense with trained instinct of an experienced sailor: sleep tended to find him quickly and deeply, and wakefulness snap him to himself again just as easily at first light. Waking up to the odd lifelessness of dry land was still usually jarring, the stillness of the room around him; without the rolling of the sea and the creaking of timber and all the signs of a safe ship his body knew to check for even before his sleeping mind had caught up.

The thing about sleeping in cramped crew quarters through most of one’s youth was the need to deaden your ears to every rumble and shuffle and snore of a crew of twenty or more changing shifts throughout the night, while somehow being able to fall immediately to your post at a moment’s call. And the Captains, they needed to be ready to bolt awake at so much as the telling shift and crack of a harsher wave, and still get enough rest to be equipped of their wits.

He found himself strangely peaceful as he woke to the sounds of city life slowly gearing into action with the dawn outside. It took a moment to place the soothing sound of De Sardet’s steady breathing, the light warmth of each exhale brushed against Vasco’s skin where the Legate’s head was nestled into his shoulder. The Legate’s expression was blissfully calm, the steady sounds all a soothing lull to Vasco’s own restfulness.

The sunlight creeping across the room told him he should really begin going about his day. He had business on the docks and no-doubt the Legate had political drivel to work through or favours of the elite to bend himself backwards for and somehow eek out the Good for others from in the miraculous way he managed to do… De Sardet stirred a little in his sleep, turning himself over and curling comfortably into the soft down of his pillows. Vasco’s arm went with him, dropping over him and pulling his smaller body so naturally into place in the curve of his own it was almost surreal how perfectly they seemed to fit like this: Alexis wrapped up in the embrace of –

His ‘companion’? His ‘lover’? His ‘counterpart’? Vasco wasn’t entirely sure. He’d only rarely _slept_ with his partners in the literal sense before- it just wasn’t the type of casual arrangements he was used to. Of course he wasn’t unfeeling. He’d cared for plenty of people, of course, friends and lovers and otherwise. He’d never woken up in someone’s bed with this warm of a feeling though.

He inhaled the scent of Alexis’ hair and savoured this moment. For a few more minutes at least, while the sunlight was still just a streak at the window shutters, he could pretend nothing and nobody had need of him and he need only lay here listening to Alexis’ peaceful breath; could pretend the world was quiet and that the hoards wouldn’t soon descend to demand of the man in his arms his every ounce of effort and soul. It was a fickle moment, Vasco knew, but he let himself hold it for a little longer.

* * *

Alexis snapped awake at the slam of a shopkeeper’s shutter-

 _Fuck. Fuck-_ it was light. Beyond light- it was late morning. He had to be- or to do- he was needed, and he didn’t have time to-!

He bolted upright: Hikmet. Morning. He had audiences and meetings about the trial for Asili. It was surely gone nine o’clock, he must-

Alexis realised he was naked, his bedsheets tangled about his waist. His head swinging itself about in its newly-conscious confusion and panic, he felt a lurch in his stomach as he noted the emptiness of his bed.

He pushed himself up, feet on the richly decorated rug beside the bed and sheet half-clutched in one hand as the sweeping sensation of the last night came over him- every inch of his skin burned for a split second, hairs on end and flesh prickling.

_Vasco._

Oh by the Enlightened- that was no dream or flight of fancy. Gods, he could still practically _feel_ him- his smell in the sheets, his taste on his lips-

And then the slamming awareness that he was alone. The far side of Alexis’ bed was cool and empty and he felt dizzy and sickened. And _fuck_ he was a damned bloody fool! How many times did others have to turn from him in disgust? - Since he was a child bewitched by an older boy’s smile watching him flee his touch for fear of the ‘taint’ of his marked face… or a desperate youth, watching a man who’d wanted him moments before, had gladly had him on his knees in damp wine cellar, pulled his hair and taken his pleasure from Alexis’ mouth, turn away as if burned when those same lips tried to kiss him…

Alexis stumbled up, grasping for motion and activity and his well-trained decorum, dragging a shirt over his head without looking at his own body: his shaking hands and marred skin and tiny, weak, ridiculous form. He needed… needed a bath and- and proper clothes and to work. What was needed of him? He had to-

“Well, good morning I see-”

Alexis’ head snapped towards the sound of the opening door- wide eye dark with panic and rigid like a hunted deer. Vasco’s halted in his tracks, amused smile falling from his face and setting down the two mugs he had carried upstairs...

“- Alexis. What’s happened?”

A wall of emotion he could barely begin to say crashed against Alexis’ whole being. His hand gripped blindly at nearest object, the dressing table beside him, before his body could crumple to the floor. As it was, his legs just barely stayed underneath him.

Vasco was across the room in a second, arm around Alexis’ shoulders, voice like the low roll of steady waves on a weathered hull. Strong. Solid. It took a moment before the meaning of language found Alexis’ fogged mind:

“… Alexis. Easy… My Tempest, hey, it’s alright. Breathe…”

Alexis realised how rapidly his breath was rattling through him. He felt weightlessness flood him momentarily. Then the press of the Captain’s hand was on his chest, heavy and gentle enough that it seemed to still his hammering ribcage without shattering it to pieces.

He was sat on his bed, Vasco’s gaze fixed with concern on his eyes as focus returned to them.

“Slowly… that’s it. It’s alright- just breath…”

Alexis’ senses caught up to him gradually. His hands brushed at Vasco’s face and hair and shoulders, feeling the solidness of him and the warmth and the careful, steady breathing of him. Vasco took Alexis’ hands in his calloused grasp, rubbing his thumb soothingly over the back of them. He repeated the encouragement to breathe, the world slowed, and the edges knitted back together in Alexis’ mind.

Fatigue washed over him, and he let himself fold into Vasco’s arms, curled in on his side until his head was pooled in Vasco’s lap and his fingers were running through his hair. That sensation, along with the grounding sound of Vasco’s voice brought Alexis back to himself, his breathing steadying. The watery surface of brown and greens of De Sardet’s eyes stilled and refocused, looking up at Vasco clear enough to suggest awareness was coming back to him.

“There you are,” Vasco smiled with notable relief, stroking Alexis’ cheek.

A weak sort of look close to a smile of Alexis’ own met him in reply. He blinked away the moisture in his eyes, sitting up and wiping a hand across his face, looking away. His face flushed as the mortification of the last few minutes seized him. He had to take a breath before his heart started hammering anxiously all over again.

“…Gods I’m sorry that was-” Alexis grimaced.

“Hey now, none of that-” Vasco placed his hand on Alexis’ face again, tilting his jaw so he had to meet his eyes once more, expression soft but brows still tight with concern. “Are you alright? My Tempest, what happened?”

The tone and the endearing name and the worry all made Alexis feel yet more foolish.

“Nothing-” Alexis shook his head. “Nothing at all - I’m sorry I- I don’t know I woke and – and it was late, and I have so much to do and I thought…”

Alexis’ face burned; words cut off. He fixed his gaze at a spot behind the Naut’s shoulder. Vasco’s thumb traced an aimless pattern of circles over his cheek, willing Alexis to not shrink from him so.

“Tell me, Alexis… please, whatever panicked you so much?”

“I was alone and- and it was a ridiculous, stupid moment and a it felt a thousand things were in my head and I thought- I was alone and you’d… I’m sorry I don’t know what came over me…” Alexis squirmed uncomfortably, feeling deeply how pathetic and unforgivably irrational he sounded. “Please, it was nothing, forget it.”

Alexis had experienced these sort of moments of bizarre panic before. Usually he was able to feel the anxiety rising and calm himself, or at least retreat from view until it passed. Only very, very rarely did anyone else witness a true attack, not since his childhood. The thought that anyone might see how easily his veneer of personal control was unbalanced, how susceptible he was to fear, how much a fraud … it wore at him constantly.

And this… with Vasco, this _something_ – Gods he didn’t want to upset it so soon.

“I’m sorry,” Vasco smiled and took one of Alexis’ hands in his, lifting it to brush a warm kiss to his palm. “I only slipped down to the kitchen. I should, perhaps have woken you first…I’m sorry if I worried you.”

Alexis noticed the steaming cups Vasco had brought up only to abandon due to his display. The smell of coffee and sweet spice wafted off them on the side table.

“- no. No. You didn’t - needn’t have…” Alexis balked. “I’m sorry. Forgive me that whole display, please…”

Vasco squeezed Alexis’ hand once before rising to retrieve the forgotten mugs. He offered one to Alexis. He took it and breathed in the scent deeply. It was glorious-

“Good, ay?” Vasco smirked over his own mug. “Nauts make any cup strong as sin, of course, but I’ve always been a bit partial to Alliance blends.”

Alexis hummed in response and took a sip, letting the Naut-appropriate strength of the dark brew and the edge of Alliance spice kick him out of the last tendrils of exhaustion while the sweetness and scent soothed out his nerves.

“Thank you.” He said. “This… it’s far too kind of you, Captain.”

Vasco scoffed amusedly. “I don’t know about you, but I’d hope we’d really be on first name terms here… and as for the limits of our exchange of ‘kindness’, I’m well past coffee as the most I’ve given you recently.”

Alexis’ blush told Vasco his comment had landed as he might have hoped despite the slight clumsiness. He didn’t want to see the walls of distance go back up when they had both so very much wanted to bring them down. Not when they’d come so far. Not after everything between them last night.

“I suppose so, Vasco,” Alexis smiled sweetly through his self consciousness; looking up at Vasco playfully he added: “…Though I can think of some context in which ‘Captain’ might be appropriate, if you’d indulge me so.”

A suggestive quirk of his brow drew Vasco’s attention to Alexis’ lithe form, shirt buttons askew and collar open to his chest, legs bare where the fabric grazed his thighs, with only his small-clothes on besides it. The Naut smirked.

“Oh I’m sure you mean wholly _in_ appropriate.” He replied, eyes gleaming, keeping his tone light as he added: “And also that you’re trying to distract me from my concern.”

Alexis sipped the sweet coffee and smiled a little self-consciously. “Nothing gets past you it seems.”

Vasco took a step closer, cupping Alexis’ cheek in his hand with an almost startling tenderness. “I try to pay close attention when it comes to you, Tempest…”

The gesture warmed something light and fluttering in Alexis’ chest. He looked up at the lines of soft concern and care on the tattooed face.

“I’m sorry to cause such worry…” Alexis said with a mournful guilt. He was met with a smile and shake of the head.

“I worry, yes. But it’s a joy to watch you, Alexis. You’re a force of nature.”

Alexis’ smile took a sharply self-critical edge. “Oh and my ridiculous flights of emotion are wild as a gale sometimes. I should be able to temper them better. I’m sorry-”

“Alexis.” Vasco cut him off, tone serious, but touch still soft on his cheek. “Don’t apologise. It’s alright. You’ve been working yourself beyond the point of exhaustion for weeks. I know full well just how strong you are, but the weight on your shoulders would be enough to floor twenty men sometimes…”

Vasco said it more fondly than scolding but the gentleness in his expression showed the worry Alexis’ day-to-day exertion, physical and emotional, caused him.

“You were half awake and panicked.” He stated matter-of-factly. “Do you know how many times I bolted out of my bed the first few weeks ashore, adrenaline higher than anything, because my sleep-addled mind was convinced the lack of waves and rocking floors was amiss? Minds are fickle sometimes. And…”

He paused, caught the other man’s gaze as he swallowed something of a lump in his throat. ”Well… I think I’m fair in saying neither of us are exactly _used_ to this all…”

Vasco withdrew his hand, gesturing around them both to suggest what he meant by ‘this’…by them.

Alexis took the Naut’s hand and pulled him softly closer, encouraging him to sit down besides him on the edge of the bed. He didn’t unlink their fingers. Neither did Vasco.

“No one’s ever stayed until morning. I’m not exactly…” he hesitated. Vasco squeezed his hand in silent reassurance. “I’m not sure I know what I’m doing.”

“Well I’d say the solution to that is frequent practice, wouldn’t you say?” Vasco smirked, bringing a chuckle to Alexis’ chest.

“Indeed.” He blushed and his hazel eyes darted away with that coy well-reared manner that had no right to be so charming and yet was utterly enrapturing. Vasco traced his thumb in a swirling loop over Alexis’ palm, up his wrist.

“I… I think I would like to get used to this...” Alexis said meaningfully. “- to you. If you’d- if you want…?”

He trailed off, not quite managing to voice the question, cursing himself for the hesitance. He tried again but Vasco cut him off gently scolding:

“I hope I’ve laid out my feelings on the matter, Alexis. But to clarify…” The amber of his eyes gleamed down at De Sardet, his Tempest, his lover- “I’m not sure what the expectation of blue-blood Courtship might be here, so you’ll forgive my being plain about it?- I’ve not felt so… compelled towards something so… _solid,_ with someone. I care for you. A lot. So… Whatever this might be… well, by your terms my Tempest, I’m yours if you’d have me.”

Alexis’ expression and the catch of his breath told of the joy that knowledge gave him, even in the stunned silence it yielded. He stumbled over himself, his heart forgetting to beat and then stuttering about, making his tongue dead weight in his mouth when he tired to speak-

“Vasco. I- I-” he looked up at his Naut with eyes suddenly filmed with moisture, face soft and completely disarmed and smiling so beautifully…

Vasco kissed his lips and if he felt the tears that dampened Alexis’ cheeks briefly he didn’t mention it, just let the complicated swirl of his storms rage in his small frame and held him in a way that made Alexis feel, for possibly the first time in his life and certainly the first in recent memory, that should the cracks in the damn of him open he would weather it. He wouldn’t break. He wouldn’t come to pieces with Vasco here and his arms around him and his golden eyes bright and alive and his heart beating under the swirl of the tattooed lines in a rhythm that soothed out Alexis’ own and seemed to remind Alexis’ own to steady itself. And he loved him, unambiguously, simply, overwhelmingly _loved_ this man and that was something he’d not thought possible before, not truly, not like this-

A polite but brisk knocking at the door sounded. “De Sardet, there is a messenger here from the governor and the _renaigse_ will only have your reply from you himself.” Siora’s voice was apologetic, a little irritated at such imposition by the servant downstairs.

Alexis’ face fell immediately. Vasco eyes sparkled with amusement at the sight.

“Don’t look so miserable lad. Duty calls.” He kissed the corner of Alexis’ mouth fondly. “We can continue this later.”

“I wasn’t finished.” Alexis murmured somewhat dumbly. He’d been about to voice things he never had before- form the words that had materialised for all the feelings he’d never known how to say - and then the interruption had scatter it all.

Vasco smirked, standing and pulling De Sardet to his feet. “Oh I definitely wasn’t finished, don’t worry.”

He reached for his hat from atop Alexis’ desk, every bit the confident Naut captain now and it had Alexis stumbling like a flushing maiden for a moment.

“Uhh- thank you Siora. I will be down in a moment.” He called with an attempt of professionalism. Vasco’s wicked smile widened.

Realising his half-clothed state, Alexis darted to his trunk, searching quickly for fresh trousers in a frantic haze.

“I- uuhh-” he refocused his attention back on his charming Naut… “I’m sorry- we umm- this…”

Vasco cocked an eyebrow, donning his tricorn and coat and adjusting his sleeves primly. “We can pick this up later I’m sure, Tempest… you can hurry down if you need. I shan’t follow for a few moments-”

The ‘and avoid being too conspicuous about having gone to bed together’ wasn’t spoken aloud but it was certainly there. Alexis hasn’t thought to ask. Hadn’t wanted to suggest any shame in their budding… _relationship_? - didn’t want his Naut to feel the need to conceal themselves but… the thought of announcing their business to the world felt unconscionable. He wanted this to be theirs. At least for now. Just for a while to have something truly his own and not the Serene Court at large’s.

“Vasco, you needn’t…” Alexis attempted as he dressed hurriedly.

The Naut only smiled fondly, adjusting De Sardet’s jacket and smoothing down his collar as his worrying hands tied off his cravat. “Don’t fret lad. We’ve time to discuss things further later…”

Alexis was flushing madly now.

“Would you come with me to meet the officials before Asili’s trial today. Aphra will be there to offer insight but I… I would rather not be alone…”

Vasco brushed his lips over Alexis’ knuckles.

“Of course, my Tempest.”

* * *

It a week and a half later, on the road back towards New Serene, that Kurt became certain the Naut was fucking De Sardet. He’d suspected, of course, when Alexis’ air of exhaustion started to ease, his mood improve… He’d crossed paths with the Naut in the kitchen one morning in the Legate’s Hikmet apartments. At the early hour Kurt offered a rough voiced, “‘morning” and Vasco only nodded in reply. He had left carrying two mugs and heading back towards the stairs and Kurt decided it was none of his business.

And while there were plenty of ways the Legate might have managed to get a few decent nights’ sleep, Kurt hadn’t seen him drink himself into unconsciousness, so short of a sleeping draught he assumed Captain Vasco might have had something to do with it.

Kurt offered to take first watch when they made camp, while Alexis disappeared past the tree line to fetch wood for a fire. As Kurt set to pitching their modest canvases he observed the Naut offering some assistance to Siora with the provisions. They laughed at something or other before Vasco stood and made towards the denser trees. Alexis had emerged, burdened awkwardly with a bundle of dry-looking tinder. The Naut went to help him, taking hold of some of the wood. Kurt caught the look on the Greenblood’s face, for an unguarded moment: embarrassed, almost a little coy... And that brightening behind the eyes. The way the Legate responded to the brush of the Naut’s hand against his arm. The smile of thanks and some mumbled words Kurt couldn’t make out.

It was rare to see Alexis relax. And it always had to be snuck past his inclination to self control. Constantin had almost perfected the technique of stealthily disarming with wit or foolishness or overzealous affection, almost. But Alexis’ rigid nerves were always there. Once, in their youth, it had been easier; he’d been openly softened and physically affectionate in response to his cousin. As he grew, coldness set in: A stiffness that iced his bones and saw him tense when the expressive Princeling threw his arms about his ‘dear cousin’. Kurt was too closely involved in the young boys lives then to not have caught breath of the rumour mill… moreover he wasn’t blind and he knew his wards and it was abundantly clear that Greenblood was not chasing skirts like his cousins and it didn’t take much to understand the causes. It was sad to see him retreat into himself, but Kurt recognised it- tried to train his ward well and not indulge the teenage instinct to turn it all outwards in violence- he’d seen that kind of shame wrap round itself in certain young recruits, when they didn’t think they had a way to touch another boy but in a fight. Alexis was sharp and deeply aware of his position in the courtly vipers’ nest even then- he knew that talk of the wrong kind was dangerous as much for him as for Constantin. And he learnt as instinct to hold back anything compromising…

But that ice didn’t set in when Vasco touched Alexis. Kurt wasn’t sure, but he thought that might just mean Alexis wasn’t scared by the thought of what may be seen and assumed by the others. At the least it meant there was warmth enough there to keep the frosts at bay, and that?

Enlightened’s ass… that meant the lad was entirely gone on the Naut and Kurt damn well _hoped_ they’d finally gotten the awkwardness of bedding each other out of the way now or the mooning and stumbling over it all was only going to get more unbearable.

* * *

Alexis fumbled the bundle of tinder as Vasco walked over, feeling a hint of a flush on his face at the fond amusement the Naut looked at him with.

“Might you like some help there?”

“What does it say of me if I let a man raised at sea prove better equipped for the wilds than I?” Alexis joked.

Vasco rolled his shoulders in a shrug and closed the distance between them, hand brushing Alexis’ forearm as he adjusted the weight between them.

“I think it says your arms are shorter and weaker, Tempest.”

Alexis laughed, a hint of challenge in his tone. “Shorter I’ll grant you, but I’m not weak.”

“Far from it.” Vasco smirked and brushed his arm against Alexis’, voice just low enough to be sure it wouldn’t carry further than the Legate’s own ears. “But if you want me to prove I’m stronger you need only ask.”

Heat rose to Alexis’ face at the thoughts that provoked of the Naut taking it upon himself to ‘prove’ stronger: he wondered if he was light enough for Vasco to carry. He was sure if the Naut pinned him he would be hard pressed to free himself… Alexis cleared his throat awkwardly.

“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.” He replied.

Vasco mostly kept the satisfaction of flustering Alexis off his face. The teasing was safe enough- trodden ground. They’d not quite managed the explicit discussion they could both feel hanging over them. Vasco didn’t want to push too hard; Alexis was terrified of shattering the whole thing if he did. Putting names to their little entanglement proved… easy enough to distract themselves from in the moments they’d had alone, altogether too busy deepening the entangling.

They returned and set to building a modest fire. Vasco turned a concerned eye to the darkening sky, grey clouds rolling in on the wind.

“Looks like rain before nightfall…” He remarked.

Kurt nodded. “Aye and there’s a chill moving in- we’ve only the two tents after tearing that spare canvas on the last trip. Best to double up.”

“Siora, do you mind sharing with Kurt?” Alexis asked all businesslike.

“Not at all.” She replied. Kurt gave a grunted agreement.

Letting a hand brush Vasco’s arm Alexis smiled a small, quiet smile. He didn’t say ‘we’ll take the other.’ He didn’t hide his gestures or condescend to make excuses to invite the Naut to share a bedroll with him. Not that he needed to, even if they were merely comrades. But they weren’t ‘merely’ anything.

Vasco had no arguments, not that Alexis had presented the arrangement with any assumption of one. With the rain likely not far off now, they shared out some dry and underwhelming rations rather than take the time and resources to try and cook over a fire that could be snuffed out soon enough. Siora lingered a while by the fire anyway. Kurt found a sheltered spot with a good vantage on the approach to their small camp. The brush of Alexis’ fingers, his hand skimming Vasco’s side with the closeness of him, was a subtle thing to call ‘boldness’- yet for Alexis, in its tentative way it was just that.

Turning to the Naut with only a hint of a flush on his cheekbones that might well be blamed on the heat of the fire, Alexis squeezed his hand softly. “I’m going to bed; if you wish-”

Alexis’ ‘- to join me’ died with a soft exhale on his lips when Vasco nodded and smiled almost smugly, standing up deliberately. He didn’t drop the Legate’s hand, let him flush a little more and hold the contact in a way that made him think Vasco was trying to call a bluff: to see if he would, given the chance, follow through and lead him by the hand to the tent... Kurt glanced their way, caught Vasco’s eyes with a quietly knowing gaze, and looked away towards the trees. The light was dimming, but Vasco was sure he saw an amused smirk on the Coingaurd’s face.

Alexis’ touch faltered for a second only. Then, with a gentle little tug of imperative pressure in his fingers, he headed to his tent with Vasco’s hand still in his.

* * *

The effort Alexis was putting into avoiding eye contact with Vasco in the comically close quarters of a single tent was almost admirable. He awkwardly arranged bedrolls and refused entirely to acknowledge how ridiculous the effect of his hunching over in the cramped space, shuffling about in a crouch.

“Don’t tell me you’ve lost your nerve so quickly,” Vasco teased.

Sitting back on the blanket he had half spread out across the thin padding of one bedroll, Alexis looked up at him. “Not entirely…”

Vasco smiled, eyebrow quirking upwards, placing his hand deliberately next to Alexis’, almost but just shy of touching. “I see… and does your bravery extend beyond letting your company see you take a sailor to bed, Excellency?”

Alexis stared down at their hands, watching his own fingers creep closer to Vasco’s as if drawn by an external force. It was dark enough that the flush on his cheekbones wasn’t too obvious, though he was somehow sure it didn’t go unnoticed.

“I see no reason to hide an intimate relationship from such trusted companions, so long as you are comfortable with that-”

“An _intimate relationship_ you say?” The amusement in Vasco’s voice only deepened. “Is that what your nobles call this?”

“Oh, none of the courtly names for this would be very kind.” Alexis scoffed, eyes flashing and fingers knitting with Vasco’s.

“Well thankfully, we’re a damned long way from Court...” Vasco quipped with a smirk. “And to be clear, I’m quite comfortable with you declaring whatever you wish to whomever…particularly if scandalised nobles result from it.”

Alexis chuckled softly. “Oh scandal is practically inevitable in my environs, but I think we’re both resigned to that. But I meant-”

He hesitated, eyes meeting Vasco’s. Nerve not entirely lost, he swallowed and concluded: “I care for you and I don’t – well, I don’t care to hide that, not from those I trust… that is, _us_ …”

Alexis chewed his lower lip, hesitating. Vasco clasped their hands together and repeated, “ _us_.”

He squeezed Alexis’ hand once in reassurance. It was the answer to the question Alexis hadn’t quite voiced. An affirmation that their foundations where indeed shared that gave Alexis the last push to boldness he needed.

“Vasco, this doesn’t come easily to me. I’ve not ever really imagined such feelings… or - the wish for something like this- were something I could afford to have. But I do and maybe- maybe we could- we can...”

Another squeeze of his hand. Alexis looked up with his damp eyes gleaming.

“I don’t just _want_ to be with you, Vasco- which I _do_ want. But I- I mean I- actually believe we could be…” He laughed, blinking away the moisture, perplexed by his own ridiculousness-“My entire world has been built around supporting a Crown that groomed me for that purpose. That lied _to_ me, and _about_ me – and now… this is- this is true and truly mine and – and all I want is for that to be yours and- and to be each other’s, if- if… if you-”

Vasco’s free hand brushed Alexis’ jaw, catching his breath and almost stilling the stream of thought from his anxious mouth.

“Yes, my Tempest.” Vasco said in answer to any question that he had been intending to ask.

Alexis pressed their clasped hands to his breast, the hammer of his heartbeat under his ribcage growing to a steadier thrum, like a felted drum mallet. Slowing down for long enough to say: “I’m yours, Vasco- whatever is mine to give...”

Another stream of rambling words started pouring- “and that’s not enough- I don’t- but I can and I could and I don’t want this life to be- to be this forever or even anymore and-”

Vasco smiled and kissed him, gently, slowly, his fingertips curling against the rough edge of trimmed scruff on his jaw where he’d never been able to grow even a passing bread- Alexis let his mind slow and his breath steady, the world narrowing down to this single point as Vasco hummed softly against his mouth.

“Each other’s, then,” he said simply, the warmth of his breath on Alexis’ skin as he wrapped his arms around him and eased them both down into the mass of bedrolls. He tucked Alexis’ head against his chest as if there was nothing more natural on the earth. The sound of his breathing and the scent of him in Alexis’ nose, pressed neatly against the flesh his shirt collar exposed on his neck… they lay there quietly enough and long enough that neither was sure where the edge of waking and sleep quite was.

“When Constantin is safe… a cure- when all this business is finished…” Alexis murmured into the stillness. “…what you said about sailing with you again? Did you mean it?”

“Yes- If you want that…” Vasco spoke in a whisper against Alexis’ temple.

“Your Guild would allow that?”

“By any measure you’re sea-born, Tempest, should you wish to claim it.”

Alexis curled more tightly into the warmth of his lover’s embrace, heavy with sleep. “I wish. So much…”


End file.
